sweet nothings

Yummy yummy burgers

2012-01-27T21:21:00.000-05:00

This is how good these burgers were: I'm taking time on a Friday night to blog about them. Yes, because it cuts into my ca-ray-zay Friday night scheme of...going to bed in 20 minutes. Anyway.

Got these in my latest Natural Health: The article has healthy alternatives to fast food favorites. Some of them looked a bit intense, but I figured I'd go for the burgers. We did not add avocado, but I bet it would add good flavor.

They tasted DELICIOUS. T raved about them as one of his new all-time favorites, beating out the decadent macaroni and cheese makeover from Cooking Light.

I can't believe I didn't post that one--sure, Martha Stewart makes good mac and cheese, but I felt this one blew all others out of the water. Definitely time-intensive and requires some slightly expensive cheese, but so worth it. By the way, don't substitute regular macaroni. The cavatappi works much better. It's also not super creamy/cheesy, so if you prefer that, you might have to adjust.

The cheeseburgers also take about 20-25 minutes to put together, and you need a food processor. I used our giant George Forman to cook them, but I think you could cook the burgers perfectly well in a frying pan or however you choose. I also warn you: the recipe calls for chilis in adobo and even seeded, they packed a bit of a heat wallop for anyone who has trouble with spice. However, I felt they didn't stretch the budget and had so much flavor packed in--definitely a new Frau Family Favorite.

Just a few things

2012-01-19T12:47:00.000-05:00

First of all, J is 30 weeks old today. WHAT? He'll be seven months before I know it!

I know I haven't blogged a lot...every time I mean to, I feel I should be doing something else, like cleaning, laundry, or job hunting. But I think a few minutes will be ok. Still hunting, although we've got our routines down now, and it'll be hard to give that up, I admit, but having another full paycheck will certainly make things easier.

I think I'll just share a few sites I've gotten wind of to help you folks out:

www.gethuman.com

Get Human is one of those lovely little sites that lets you actually speak to a human faster instead of dealing with endless menus and automated voices. You input the company and it'll give you directions to get you to a human faster. I used this morning to get to a person at the NY Department of Labor. It took a wee bit of time, but certainly not as long as last time I tried...and got cut off.

www.foodgawker.com

Food Gawker has many recipes and beautiful pictures to boot. If I had my way, I would have an endless food budget and plenty of time to cook all of these recipes.

www.canyoustayfordinner.com (another food blog)

This one just has terrific recipes as well, all created by someone who lost tons of weight and is a foodie to boot. I like the way she writes about food.

www.thebudgetmommy.com

Lots and lots of bargains for kids and mom. Check it regularly to get good deals.

That's about all I've got right now. J gets closer to crawling every day...fortunately we have a large, six-panel baby gate we got for Penny that we can use to corral him. I know we'll need it, because this kid wants to cruise.

Reflections on a Year

2012-01-02T09:29:00.001-05:00

All right, I'll do it: I'll review 2011 for myself.

January started out (no, I am NOT going to through this month by month; January had a lot going on, as you'll read) pretty eventful: My sister had her beautiful daughter, we found out we were having a boy (on the same day! Although I'll allow that C's birth trumped J's revealed gender), and my youngest sister got engaged. Oh, and we got a new-to-us car.

As the year moved on, I became more pregnant and more worried about how the local budget would affect my job. I home-schooled an amazing boy and got to give him some small semblance of a normal life before he succumbed to cancer just before Christmas. We repainted the guest room to become the baby's room, got furniture and many lovely gifts from many lovely people, added a few new fixtures and paint colors to other parts of the house, and put car seat bases in. I fell more in love with my husband and my new niece, gained a new respect for my sister as she tried on motherhood for the first time, and found out my other sister would have a baby in November. I also gained a new appreciation for my own mother and mother-in-law, especially, as they guided me through those first few months with J. My friend M taught me how to change a boy's diaper without getting peed on...though J still manages to get control of the hose every now and then.

Well, budget came through, J was born and T and I became parents, and five days after that, I lost my job. This led to scrambling desperately for health insurance, and T took on that burden alone, as I was in no condition to do anything but nurse and not walk up and down stairs. I looked for jobs every day, went on a few interviews, and came to realize a few things:

1) Once fall hit, I realized that while unemployment was (and is) scary, I would never, ever have had this time otherwise. I would've gone back to work with J at eight weeks old in day care, and now he's over six months and I have spent almost every day getting to know him and see him grow and change. I've used the word "serendipitous" more than I ever thought I would. I may never have this chance again to spend time with my child, and I'm grateful for every day of it.

2) Perhaps I need to/want to do something other than teaching. I love the classroom, but my former place of employment never felt quite right, as I've written about before. The combination of lack of teaching positions available, the knowledge that the 2012-2013 budgets for schools will tighten even more, and the sheer necessity to look at my other skills and talents has led me to believe perhaps I could do something different yet still connected to what I love. Still waiting to see how that turns out, fingers crossed, and I have a few leads that I will pursue until someone shakes my hand and says, "Welcome aboard". I have to, financially, and I want to, personally.

3) You can still manage to do a lot with less and remain happy. Forced perspective is still perspective.

So motherhood has been incredible and stressful and scary and wonderful. I've made new friends, caught up with old ones, and worked hard on keeping those people in my life who enrich it and dropping those who don't. I've gone through peaks and valleys with my husband and realized even more than before that I'm grateful every day to walk through life side by side. Friends of mine expanded their own families and allowed me to celebrate other milestones with them. I'd say I feel fortunate that 2011 has, for me, been the best year of my life so far. We'll see what 2012 brings.

Resolutions? Oh, I don't know...I feel sometimes they're these grand ideas that make us feel bad when they don't come to fruition. But I think it's good to have goals, so I'll make a few:

Read as many of the books on my shelf as possible. I've had unread books there for a year or more.
Get a job and do it to my best ability
Stay healthy in terms of exercise and eating, but allow myself rest and treats, too
Continue making my marriage a partnership with my best friend
Be as good a mother to J as possible while accepting the fact that I'll have bad days
Do things that honestly enrich my life. Most of these don't include anything electronic.

I think that's a good start.

As seen in my house

2011-12-28T10:47:00.000-05:00

Have you ever seen the advertisements for that space-saving spice rack? The one that takes up four inches of space?

T and I saw that one evening and I said, "You know, our spices are such a mess, I'm almost tempted to call and order that," without any irony. We have these lazy Susans of spices that predate our move to our house [shudder] and I just never got around to cleaning them out because who takes time to clean out the spice rack? Not me. It certainly didn't rank high on the list of priorities, even though I knew it would make life better.

Guess what T got me for Christmas?

Before:

I don't even have a picture of the other, two-tiered lazy Susan rack.
It was too far back, with lots of clutter in front of it.

After:

And Julie Andrews and a host of angels sang in the background.

Christmas!

2011-12-27T21:19:00.001-05:00

Well, I must say without prejudice that J was a STAR this Christmas. If you have read this blog with any regularity, you know that December 25 involves The Great Christmas Road Trip because we have so many people to see, and J did very well with all the traveling. On the one hand, I feel so fortunate that we have so many relatives to spend time with and love. On the other hand, spending time in the car going from place to place to place gets a bit tedious. But I try to focus on the former, not the latter. In a few years J will want to stay home to play with his toys, anyway, so that will all change.

We went to my stepdad's for Christmas Eve cocktails. Dad gave J his little Christmas outfit, complete with reindeer footies:

Sister E and niece C...J is finally reaching back!

Then we went to T's mother's for dinner. She got to feed J his dinner:

Note the footies and Dad's "classic Grandma picture!" expression

On Christmas morning we opened our own presents. No pictures of us unkempt in our jammies, sorry: T made breakfast and I whipped together dough because when you give the gift of bread, it helps to have it fresh. This made for a slightly hectic morning, although we had fun with our stockings and gifts, as usual. Then we zipped over to T's father's house:

Grandpa loved the plaid shirt...he owns many just like it.

Next, we traveled to Batavia to see my grandmother and my dad. Grandma adores her great-grandmother status, as you can see:

How terrific is this wrapping paper? I've tried not to use it anymore in my green living pursuits, but I'd use this in a heartbeat.

Happy Papa and little J

Hooray for this Christmas thing!

Our last stop before heading home was my mother's with my sisters and their families, along with another sumptuous meal.

T with the two kids

Five men and a baby

(I'll have to post the women version of this once someone sends it to me!)

Home again, home again, jiggety jig by 10:45...a long but lovely Christmas. Hope all of you had equally nice holidays!

Boys

2011-12-21T13:50:00.002-05:00

Well, J has grown in leaps and bounds...almost crawling, almost sitting up, close to teething. Today he reached the fabulous milestone of ratcheting his cries up to a scream when he's really hungry. It's that cry you cringe at when you hear it in the grocery store and promptly turn your cart around and head toward...anywhere else. But now he has a few new toys from Santa (aka grandparents), so life isn't too bad (as long as milk comes rightnowimmediatelyfasterSCREAM). I'm pretty excited for his first Christmas and all the ensuing pictures. He got a sweet little Christmas outfit from my dad and stepmom, so that will enhance the cuteness. Not that I'm biased.

On a more sober note, yesterday I found out the boy I home-tutored for most of the last school year passed away on Monday. He had a rare form of cancer and his family viewed his survival as a long shot, but boy did they try. Kid went through surgeries, chemo, you name it. I got him through ninth grade English... we met once a week. We did a lot of talking about non-English related topics, mostly movies, books, Buffalo sports teams, and the annoyance of younger siblings. Andrew was mature for his age and handled his illness with a lot of humor and calm. A huge sports fan, he collected all sorts of memorabilia, and foundations such as Carly's Kids and Make a Wish helped him get a few more, plus visits and introductions to many of his sports heroes. When I heard he'd died, I broke down because...why? Why a teenage boy? Why right before Christmas? And then I thought about it...this last surgery was a long shot at best. It may sound terrible, but now he doesn't have to suffer chemo or the many side effects, no more colostomy bags, no more weight loss or worrying that a simple cold would become not so simple. T also pointed out to me that I had the privilege of giving him a normal spot in his life, even if that normalcy involved me chiding him about missed homework deadlines and making him write essays. I'm so glad I got to work with him and get to know him. It's one of the privileges of teaching.

But I've also begun to realize that I can do that sort of helping elsewhere, too, outside of that profession. The idea of getting out of teaching for a while has rolled around in my subconscious for a few months now. I'm meeting tomorrow with a colleague of my dad's who may be able to connect me with others who can help me find work. I'm cautiously optimistic...the unemployment's running out relatively soon, and I have to have something under my belt. In the meantime, I can remember Andrew and hug my own precious, healthy boy. If I don't get to this site before Sunday, merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate it (and happy Hanukkah right now!) and--J is kind of crawling as I write this. I'm going to go watch that little miracle.

Love to all of you.

Look. At. This.

2011-12-10T21:29:00.001-05:00

Today we Skyped with Papa. These are the screen shots he took of J:

Close...

Closer...

Made it!

And the world will never be the same.

(Note: Not full-on crawling yet; lots of creeping, arms-only with occasional legs thrown in and rocking in place on all fours. But it's coming....)

Stationery card (Shutterfly said they'd give me a $10 off gift card, so I've done a little advertising.)

2011-12-06T12:07:00.007-05:00

Simply Modern Band Holiday Card

Create modern holiday cards with your photos at Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Life lesson

2011-12-02T17:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had an interview for an English position at a local school, full time. I prepared for it, went, answered the questions as well as I could, was my bright and charming self, created a writing sample, and...didn't get called for the second round of interviews that afternoon. Honestly, the waiting felt worse than finding out I lost out.

That told me something, something that's swirled around in my mind for a while (what I wouldn't give for a Pensieve some days): Maybe I should take a break from teaching. Maybe the universe or some Higher Power has given me the signal that I can use my other skills and interests to do something. I love teaching, love it dearly, but the paperwork--grading essays, homework, you name it--tripped me up even before I had J. I can do it...I can get things done, but it's not my strong point when I don't have a deadline imposed on me by someone else. I don't do self-imposed deadlines well at all because somewhere in my head, I believe it's not a big deal if I don't meet it. Somehow I don't get that not meeting that deadline means less sleep, less time with T, more stress. I know it but I don't.

I certainly don't think going into a job other than teaching will be...easier. I just think it might be better suited for me. Right after I found out I didn't get the callback from this place, I immediately called this person my dad knows who can help me find something. We've got a lunch coming up, we discussed the idea of international student programs (Trick Panda, may need some help on this from your end on this--I'd love to know more about St. Margaret's program if this comes to fruition), using my languages, editing and writing, and I began to get excited. It felt good to think about using my other talents as well.

This probably sounds repetitive, but I know now that getting cut from my last job has become one of the most serendipitous events in my life. I would never, ever have had all this time to spend with my son otherwise. And I wouldn't have the chance to expand my horizons on the job front, either. Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I find myself still, every day, deeply thankful and grateful for my life and the course it's taking. What a surprise.

Mmmm...dinner

2011-11-17T20:57:00.000-05:00

I made this for dinner...complete with a delicious olive oil dough that really made it tasty. The recipe for the dough comes from my favorite bread book, Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day. I've taken to looking through it lately to figure out a few fun recipes...it really is that easy to do. I managed to put the dough together while J took a nap, but it took me less then ten minutes, honestly. So delicious on a cold, messy night!

The peppers had their inspiration in Ouiser's pledge on her recent post to eat more vegetables. Now, I don't do too poorly in that area, but I could do better. So for the last few days, I've tried more consciously to eat my fruits and vegetables, and I've done fairly well, I must say. I try to balance it all without leaning too much on pasta and bread (yes, dough counts as bread, I'm aware, but I know exactly what went into it). Sure, I fall down on the job every once in a while, but I figure if I want to stay healthy for myself and my child (and if I want to work on losing that pregnancy weight), conscious eating goes a long way.

At least I'm doing something about it, unlike our congress, who considers pizza a viable vegetable for school lunches....

A glass of water

2011-11-01T08:51:00.000-04:00

In the movie White Men Can't Jump (yes, I'm actually referencing that silly movie), T and I always made fun of one scene in which the main female protagonist, Gloria, and her boyfriend, Billy, are lying in bed. She tells him she's thirsty and he gets her a glass of water. She then gets angry with him for doing this, saying,

"See. if I'm thirsty. I don't want a glass of water, I want you to sympathize. I want you to say, 'Gloria, I too know what it feels like to be thirsty. I too have had a dry mouth.' I want you to connect with me through sharing and understanding the concept of dry mouthedness."

Billy pretty much says she's overthinking it-- if you're thirsty, get some water. Solve the problem. T and I reference it every so often when we think someone's acting like Gloria.

Last night I realized, to some extent, I've become Gloria. In looking at myself critically, I realize that I have what I consider a rather female tendency to want to get sympathy for a problem, to discuss it, but not necessarily to fix it. Now, I'm not trying to bash myself--I think there's definitely valid reason to examine a problem. However, if examination doesn't lead to solving of said problem, sometimes it's a waste of effort and emotion. Consequently, I shall attempt from here on out to quench my metaphorical thirst with metaphorical water...I'll likely still examine my frustrations and problems but will attempt to solve or improve them as well.

Just ducky

2011-10-31T11:30:00.001-04:00

Thanks to Toddler Tamer, J dressed as a duck for Halloween. The fact that the costume fit him slightly too large made it even better:

What did Mommy do to me? How did I get like this?

Well, I know I look pretty sweet....

I'm kind of excited about it, really

Actually, today I'm Ducktor Evil

Mommy, what is this thing on my head?

What's with all the adults making all that racket to get us to look up, anyway? They are so silly.

I'm helping!

What? I said I was helping. I wasn't going to do anything....

As promised

2011-10-26T02:55:00.004-04:00

I said I'd post picture of J, and here are a few. If you're friends with me on Facebook, you've probably seen them already, but oh well. Enjoy anyway.

I am cute even first thing in the morning.

Sweet little froggie heinie! I love that he sleeps like this.

Got this picture with sheer luck. What a ham.

First time in the Bumbo

Monkeybutt!

It's good to have Daddy as a lounge chair.

C was in the process of trying to "pat" him, nine-month-old style (IE, no gentleness but lots of enthusiasm and love)

A little QT with Daddy

Turning four months is a serious business. Nah, I'm ok with it.

Easy Crock Pot Chili

2011-10-25T03:44:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I made what may be the easiest crock pot recipe I've come across since my favorite Turkey Sausage and Tortellini Stew (have I posted this? Let me know if you want it--EXTREMELY simple). I got it from my sister M and BIL C's wedding cookbook. You're welcome.

- 2-3 frozen chicken breasts
- 1 can tomato sauce
- 1 can diced tomatoes
- peppers of your choice
- 3 different cans of beans
- 1 diced onion
- 1 packet chili seasoning mix
- I also threw in a can of Mexi-corn; I'm sure you could use fresh or frozen

Put the breasts, frozen, in the crock pot. Take a large bowl and mix the other ingredients together, then pour it all over the chicken. Put on LOW for the day (I did about seven hours). The chicken will separate like pulled pork (which you could also use) with just a bit of prodding.

THAT'S IT. It turned out quite delicious.

Update

2011-10-21T20:54:00.000-04:00

I think my last post may have had a tone I didn't mean to elicit, so now I'm wondering if I did it unintentionally. I meant for it to sound matter-of-fact, me trying to make myself realize that things are actually pretty good right now even though money's tight. But as a result, I received various e-mails and comments and phone calls of support, so thank you to my lovely friends and family for your endless support. Plus today, for some reason, I feel I made some potentially good inroads to getting a job. I have no specific evidence as to why I feel this way, aside from using LinkedIn to make a connection and looking at another university job. Who knows if either will pan out, but simply making those moves buoyed me immensely. My mother would be so proud of me: both she and DH rock when it comes to making a Plan (you must capitalize The Plan). They're both detail-oriented when it comes to getting things done, so I get it from both sides. This helps because I do not always get those details that seem screamingly obvious to them, like immediately seeing who we know when I apply for a job so I can possibly get my resume noticed above the other hundreds like me, clamoring for work, or making a List of What I Have to Do and What to Do to Make Things Happen.

But I digress. On this crazy Friday night I have successfully managed to cook a great dinner and finish Mockingjay, PLUS get a haircut and have nice-looking salon hair, so the fact that it's 8:40 and I may well go to bed in 20 minutes does not faze me. Did I ever think I'd have this life? Me on one couch, T on the other, excited about the fact that we just got new space heaters for the bedrooms, both with one ear listening for noise on the baby monitor? Hardly. Yet I love the life I have. It would take too long to explain; I just know I'm happy and plan to work very hard at staying that way.

On a side note, the other night I made an amazing Brazilian fish stew (Moqueca) that T pronounced "restaurant-grade quality". Got the recipe from my dad over a year ago and finally got around to it. It's really not hard to make at all, although we have to save it for an "every-so-often meal" in terms of splurging on the fish. If the idea of a slightly spicy, hearty white fish stew revvs your engine, make this dish immediately. It calls for serving with rice, but we didn't bother. Doesn't need it, I think.

Ah, yes, I know I promised Little Man pictures. Forthcoming. And wait until you see J in his Halloween costume (thanks to Toddler Tamer!)....

What I know

2011-10-17T22:13:00.000-04:00

Wow, time flies. I didn't realize it had been so long since I last posted; I'll try to do better. However, right now most of my days consist of playing with J, learning the ins and outs of his dietary and digestive habits, and looking for jobs. I love the J part, although the job search gets a bit frustrating.

To that end, here is what I know: I cannot control

...the job market
...why people choose to hire or not hire the way they do
...the weather
...whether people call me back or not
...how long J naps
...the quality of T's day at work
...the health of my loved ones
...the fact that we simply have to spend money on certain things
...certain changes my body has gone through, post-baby

I can control
...how much I pursue a job and the avenues I choose to take to get one
...how I present myself as a candidate
...dressing for warmth, wind, and rain
...making attempts to get together with friends and meet new people
...the general pattern of J's days and what I do within my days
...how I respond to T when he's had a hard day to make it a better one
...positive thoughts and vibes, calling the doctor when J feels bad, trusting my instincts
...my spending on frivolous items, staying within our budget
...working out in tiny increments when I can, eating healthily, accepting the fact that my body's changes have resulted in the most fabulous life change I've ever had the privilege of going through

So I'll do my best to live the Serenity Prayer, really. Not a bad way to go about things, is it?

(Upcoming: lots of pictures of J)

A Quick List of Things I Have Learned to Do One-Handed

2011-09-15T12:54:00.000-04:00

This should imply I have the baby occupying the other hand.

I'll post pictures soon...I think J may be going through another growth spurt, so I'm on call a lot lately. He's also rolling over and then becoming royally ticked because he can't roll back or hold up his head well yet, so I do a lot of rescuing. He's like a reverse little bug, except he's stuck on his tummy instead of his back, poor little guy. But he can already use his legs to thrust himself forward. We may be in trouble....

Anyway, here goes (and yes, I'm doing this LEFTY)

type (obviously)
eat
take out and fold laundry
put a bottle together
dress J (while holding him in place with the other)
Push a stroller with the dog on her leash using the other hand (work in progress)
text

I bet there are more, but I can't think of them right now. By the way, my friend L sent us a Halloween costume for J that will make you melt from the sweetness. When I post the picture at the end of next month, I dare you not to react.

P.S. Twelve weeks today! And happy birthday, dear sister M!

Ten Years Later

2011-09-11T03:39:00.000-04:00

I feel a need to write about September 11, 2001. If you don't want to read it, that's fine.

I'd just begun my third year of teaching in a very small town in Virginia. Strangely enough, not two days before that in a class discussion, I had informed my rather sheltered female students that they should count themselves lucky that war had never truly touched their lives. They'd agreed. [I bet they're remembering me saying that, too.] Little did we all know.

I had sent a girl down to the book room to get a class set of a novel we were supposed to begin that day. She came back after a while and told me that nobody was in there; a plane had hit one of the World Trade Centers and all the adults had gone to watch the coverage on TV. In typical student fashion, the girls immediately begged me to go watch as well. In typical teacher fashion, I told them we'd finish our grammar lesson, but then I'd let them go watch because I wanted them to be informed about what was going on in the world. Two minutes later, a voice came on over the intercom and asked us to go to the chapel. We knew then something had happened.

The headmistress informed us all that two planes had hit each of the Twin Towers in New York. Not only that, a third plane had hit the Pentagon. At this one of my teacher friends uttered a scream and ran from the room to call her mother, who worked there. We were in northern VA; a few other girls had family members in that same building. Thankfully, nobody lost anyone in that tragedy. I remember feeling overwhelmed, wanting to know if my sister and friends who lived in NYC were all right, wanting to rush to the phone myself. At that same moment I knew I had to put on a brave face for my students, just teenagers who quite suddenly had war thrust upon their formerly quiet lives. The head of school sent the girls to their dorms or the cafeteria (I don't recall) and asked the teachers to stay.

We made the decision to go on with classes as best we could for some sense of stability, even if we couldn't really teach lessons. We'd resume after the next period technically began. [G and N, am I getting this right? Do you remember?] As we filed out of the chapel, I remember looking at my fellow teacher, Leigh, and not having any words; neither of us did. We simply reached out to each other and hugged tightly for a few long minutes, young twenty-somethings who'd realized how much our world had changed in such a short time. I went to class and for the rest of the day the girls and I began the period talking about what had happened for part of the period, then attempting a lesson to achieve some sense of normalcy. At lunch I rushed home and called my parents, desperate for news of my sister, A. She'd managed to call my dad before the lines flooded and became unusable to tell him she was OK. I remember turning on the TV and watching the coverage by myself, holding my dog Boo close and wondering why this had all happened, how were my other friends, would I know anyone who had died. My friend T called to tell me our other dear friend L was safe, and I thought with a shock that L hadn't crossed my mind in the wake of worrying about my sister. I felt terrible.

Strangely, my sister, abroad in Italy, had called my mother to find out what the hell happened before my mother had even turned on the TV or radio. Her professor told her and her fellow students not to travel in large groups and to say to anyone who asked that they were Canadian. The memorial e-mails began to fly the next day. I remember sitting in my classroom alone the next afternoon after having looked at one particularly poignant group of pictures: stills from the tragedy combined with vigils that had sprung up around the world. I put my head down on the keyboard and finally let myself weep for those who had died so needlessly and for the bizarre act of terrorism fueled by hate and religious zealotry. A student came in to ask for something and I waved her off, unable to even look at her. A day after that, the beep for the intercom came on in the middle of class again and we all froze, only to hear that some teacher had a phone call. We all let out breaths of relief at the mundane announcement, recognizing at the same time how things had changed....never before had we felt fear at that innocuous little noise.

After the dust had literally and figuratively settled, I discovered I knew two girls who had perished: Lindsay Morehouse, a year behind me in high school, and Cat Macrae, a girl I'd known a bit from summers in Southampton. I don't bring up their names to be macabre or just to make a connection; I do it in remembrance of lives cut short. We've all been touched by September 11 in some way. Complacency of living in America--who would dare attack us?--has gone, replaced not by fear, at least in my mind, but realization that we cannot afford complacency of any kind. I don't take things for granted as I used to. I realize how fleeting life can be and how fortunate I am to have people in my life who love me as they do.

So today I'll probably watch some of the coverage, hold my baby tightly, and kiss my husband a bit more than usual. I'll look back on these ten years and what it's brought. And I'll try to be grateful.

September fare

2011-09-10T20:36:00.000-04:00

Although I won't have that first day of school, I plan to continue the tradition of the first day of school meal; keep up tradition. Plus as the nights cool off and the air has that hint of fall to it, my mind turns to hearty soups and stews. I love this time of year, fleeting as it is. This one is super easy!

Crock Pot Turkey Sausage and Tortellini Stew

- 6 oz. turkey sausage, sliced (if you don't have the pre-cooked kind, I'd throw it in a skillet until it's just cooked through)
- 2 cans stewed tomatoes
- 1 can french onion soup
- 1-2 cups frozen green beans (I love extra)
- 3 c. water
- 1-2 c. coleslaw mix
- 1 small package cheese tortellini
- grated Parmesan cheese

Throw everything but the tortellini and cheese into a crock pot and stir to mix. 8 hours on low or 4 hours on high. After the time is up, add the tortellini and cook on high for 15 more minutes. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top of each serving. Makes about six hearty servings. NOTE: You may want to add more water to thin it out a bit.

It's that easy!

Trade-offs

2011-09-05T18:16:00.000-04:00

So I've had a theme in my posts lately, and this one will follow that theme. I think it's because tomorrow is the first day of school and for the first time in a long while, I won't be part of it. No laying out that "first day of school" outfit the night before, getting my lunch ready, making sure I have my class lists and attendance book all set to go. That thrill of a new year, new possibilities in teaching.

But I'm not sad, not really. Well, I do feel a bit bittersweet. However, I have to say that when I watch the kids walk down the path to school and I get to do so in my pajamas while holding my son, who just rolled over for the first time today, I will feel lucky that I have this time, even if it means we're tightly budgeting and a wee bit scared for the future. Any extra minutes I get to spend with J, I consider a gift, something I wouldn't have if I still had a job. So there's not a thing wrong with that.

Plus job hunting has reminded me of my other interests and skills--I've widened my net for possible work environments, and it's caused me to re-examine other passions I hold. While I may not end up in a classroom setting, I can still find a way to use what I love about teaching--reaching out to others and helping them--in another arena. Who knows what the future may hold in that respect? I try to look at it as exciting rather than daunting, even in this hideous economy. Meantime, watching J smile at me and grow a little each day fills me with love and the desire to do all I can for him and our family.

So I look at September as a month of new possibilities anyway, just differently than I'd expected. And I look forward to each day.

Closing a chapter

2011-08-28T10:08:00.000-04:00

This week I packed up the last of my belongings from my previous job. T picked them up on Friday and brought them home. I don't work there anymore. Since I live so close, it makes my feelings for the place...complex. Yesterday as I walked the dog and baby, I saw kids getting ready for morning football practice. One of them called out to me and asked about the baby, gave me a big smile. It made me smile, but it'll take a little while to get used to the fact that that will not be a part of my life anymore. Of course, that has its merits--no longer will I have to worry that I'll know the cashier at Rite Aid when I have to buy something personal. That has actually happened more than once.

I think the packing brought into sharp clarity that fear I mentioned from my last post--we have a newborn, I'm on unemployment, will we have enough to live on, will I become too expensive to hire because I ironically have too much experience....Nope. Can't go down that road. So I will try to look at this as a positive. I feel so lucky that I'm getting this time to spend with my dear little man. I don't regret a day of that. This may give me the chance to try something different, something outside of teaching. And I never quite felt comfortable at my job, honestly. I don't want to get too far into it, but I never felt like I truly belonged. This just gives me new opportunities, and I will try to take advantage of as many of them as I can.

Realizations

2011-08-28T09:49:00.001-04:00

Well, it's a bit more of the same, although summer's coming to a close and I don't have a job yet, and frankly, that's scary. I do have an interview, so I'm hopeful, but I don't even want to write any more about it...superstitious, you know. I have a tendency to find things to worry about...I don't know if this is just part of my personality or inherited (my mom does spring to mind) or what, but for some reason I sometimes will think of ways that something won't work instead of looking on the bright side. But as T pointed out, the only way we can think is positively because anything else becomes self-defeating. We have a beautiful, healthy baby boy, and I give thanks for that miracle every day. So as long as I remember the great things I do have and think in terms of when I'll get a job, we'll do just fine. I think in this economy I have to play Pollyanna a bit, plus work hard to make my own luck. That's the fine but important difference between expecting something good to happen and making something good happen. I realized that if I think of my life right now in terms of doing for us and not for me, it gives me more impetus to get things done.

I apologize if this seems rambly; these thoughts have swirled around in my head for quite some time now, and I've just gotten the opportunity to give voice to them. Bottom line, if I live my life fearing what bad things might happen, not as much good will happen, either.

Baby J has begun smiling more. He rolls to the side and his little face lights up when I get him out of bed in the morning. We've begun going for more morning walks with him in the Ergo; he tends to fall asleep and drool all over me. I love it.

New Mom Thoughts

2011-08-13T15:21:00.001-04:00

So I have a few minutes, and I thought I'd write. A few baby updates:

- He has begun gurgling, cooing, and smiling. It's so thrilling I don't know how to express it. He started at about five weeks (he's 6 and a half now--WOW) and T and I spend half our time just watching him and making noises back. Cheap and wonderful entertainment, folks. I truly love it.

- He weighs over 11lbs and sleeps well. I don't even want to write more about it for fear he'll suddenly develop colic and scream for hours a day, poor little colicky babies.

- Apparently, the child likes funk and soul but not classic rock: The Who came on and he began to cry, so we switched to The Spinners and he quieted right down.

- First official outing: Taste Coffee House the next town over. He slept the whole time. It was very exciting.

- He's begun truly looking at things, especially this painting in our living room and the turtle mobile in his pack-n-play. They don't even move and he gurgles at them like mad.

I'm writing this down partially for me...haven't begun a baby book yet and I know if I don't write these things somewhere, I'll forget. So I apologize, but consider yourselves privileged that you're part of the record of his young life.

Recently I joined a parent group in my area--the Internet is a wonderful tool. I realized I needed to meet some other moms in the area and this is the modern way to do it. I knew they had to be out there; the schools wouldn't be so damned overcrowded otherwise. Went to my first meeting at the one woman's house the other day, and it just felt nice to make myself part of a network of other women like me, at least in terms of having kids. They all seemed quite nice and the group has TONS of outings. The coordinator also pointed out that even if an event was geared toward older kids for me to come anyway and just hang out with the parents...that's part of the reason for the group. I'm glad she reminded me of that. I don't always reach out or ask for help when I need it, so I end up alone far too often. I've written about this before: I'm not an unfriendly person, but I think I wait sometimes for opportunities to meet other people to present themselves instead of making the opportunity myself or seeking one out. So I'm making attempts and seeing what I can do to pull myself out of...myself. I'm trying to make more calls to friends and keep connections going.

It's interesting: In a recent issue of Real Simple, I read an article on how to be a better friend. It had suggestions from various experts and then the last one came from a nine year-old girl. She pointed out that she has all day at school to see her friends, but adults don't have that and they need to do a better job of seeing their friends. Talk about a case of out of the mouths of babes....

Still Here

2011-07-25T14:22:00.000-04:00

Just checking in...I simply don't have a whole lot to report other than feeding frequency, diaper changes, watching Baby J grow and change (which is really amazing--he's a month and already almost 12lbs, according to our scientific method of weighing ourselves and then holding him and re-weighing), and realizing the beauty and wonder of showers and naps. Oh, and the occasional job search.

Right now he's in the middle of a growth spurt, which means he's eating ALL THE TIME. I love him so much, so I feel guilty when he cries and a part of me thinks, "Again?!", but I know this too shall pass (thank you, Ouiser) and I'm so lucky to have him in my life. I sort of can't figure out what we did before we had him.

OK, he's crying, so I'm off to see what Mommy Magic I can pull off. I'm thinking a drive around the neighborhood to calm him, likely in the A/C! Promise I'll write more when he gets a wee bit more scheduled.

Baby J makes his way into the world

2011-07-03T10:42:00.001-04:00

Well, I have a few minutes here while little man is in his swing (aka The Neglect-o-matic) after feeding, so I'll finally get to write a little bit about how the last ten days of my life have utterly, completely changed...and yet it's all getting to be routine.

I was due on the 18th, a Saturday. That day came and went. Father's Day came and went, although I still gave T a card. We even went to brunch in hopes that if we got out of the house, I'd start having contractions. No go. Doctor's office on Tuesday: zilch. I'd had no water breakage, few contractions, and he seemed perfectly happy to stay where he was. So we scheduled an induction for Wednesday afternoon at 4:30. That day we managed to distract ourselves pretty well, re-cleaning the house and wandering the mall because I knew I couldn't sit through an entire movie. Well, we got to the hospital, I changed into a gown, they told me they were going to give me something to dilate me, and then, the ultrasound....

The resident (who seemed very capable--I know from Dr. B. that residents are, indeed, "real doctors") couldn't quite find the head. She called in another doctor who could read them better and "wait...here's the head. At the top. Oh, yeah, he's feet down." Ohhhhh, crap. The awesome 30-year veteran nurse informed me that we could try to turn the baby and the other option was a straight c-section. At this I began to cry, of course, out of fear and anxiety and about a MILLION hormones. T immediately asked what the safest option was and we were told c-section. Thankfully they hadn't given me any of that other medication yet. However, I'd eaten a Kashi bar at 5pm, thinking I was prepping myself for labor, so we had to wait until 6:30am to actually do the surgery. To be fair, when I spoke with my doctor, she honestly told me while she could do it at midnight, she preferred the morning so she could get a good night's sleep. I had to agree--I preferred a well-rested doctor doing major surgery to remove a baby from me than one who'd probably be hopped up on caffeine. Fewer chances of jittery hands.

One well-utilized Ambien and about eight hours later, I was anesthetized from the waist down (but awake--pain receptors are blocked but feeling receptors aren't, so I could feel some things) and ready to go. T was an absolute champ, stroking my hair, holding my hand (which I could feel) and being extremely calm. I found out later he took pictures of them weighing the baby and all those absolute firsts, and I vaguely remember seeing my mother and T's mom and stepdad right after. The picture we put on Facebook tells it all: ecstatic father, tiny baby, and barely-post-op-already-crying mommy:

Four days later on Sunday we got to take him home, which felt almost surreal. T drove exactly the speed limit all the way home; J slept the entire way, thank goodness. We came home to a spotless house, flowers, and a completely full refrigerator, compliments of our families and friends.

It's been a heck of a steep learning curve since, let me tell you. T's mother stayed over for the first three nights to help us out (and we needed it!), my friend M did the same on the night when J fussed for at least an hour and a half in the middle of the night and gave us all sorts of practical and much-needed advice (like how to relieve a gassy baby--I didn't know! But how and why would I?), my sister M has called with all sorts of helpful advice, and my mother has been an absolute godsend, coming over every day when T is at work to help out. For my part, it's taken a lot for me to accept the help offered because I really am not supposed to do anything but take care of myself and the baby. This ranges from doing any sort of housework to going up and down the stairs a lot due to my surgery. Fortunately, a mild case of mastitis the other day forced me to slow down--in particular the "flu-like symptoms" and I've finally realized that that's what needs to happen. It also didn't help that two days after I got home, I found out I wouldn't be hired back at my current job and we had to scramble to find health insurance, but the latter's been taken care of and a job will happen, I know. But not a good time for the old raging, rearranging hormones. P.S. Insurance can get expensive. Yuck.

Despite the bumps, I am totally in love with this little man. We're already figuring out his cries and moods, what soothes him, and that formula is not the devil when used to supplement, especially when you're exhausted and sore and whipping a bottle together means your dear husband can take over one of the feedings. We've tried to remember to give Penny extra love so she doesn't feel neglected and feels a part of the family unit. My whole life has changed, and I wouldn't change it back for anything in the world. I never knew I had the capability of this much love...of my husband and my son. (P.P.S. writing those last two words did indeed choke me up.)

Welcome to the world, baby J

2011-06-25T07:54:00.001-04:00

Frederick James III

8lbs, 14oz, 22in.

And our lives will never be the same. Hooray!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.1

The Longest Day

2011-06-21T13:49:00.000-04:00

It is indeed the first day of summer, the longest technical day of the year in terms of sunshine.

It also figuratively feels like the longest damned day ever. No contractions. No back pain. No water breakage. No NOTHING. I'm only four days overdue, and I don't know how women don't go on total hormonal rampages when they're late. Seriously, Scarlet, how did you manage to survive nine extra days? Meanwhile, one of my dear childhood friends who was due three weeks after me just gave birth to a healthy baby girl yesterday. I do see the cons in this: They didn't have a bag packed, figured they had more time, etc. But ohhhh...a tiny bit of jealousy reared its ugly head.

I've tried all the tricks. I've walked. I've eaten spicy food. I had a beer. I did other things. The only thing I haven't done is eat eggplant--clearly my lack of eggplant is holding things back.

He is moving around maddeningly inside, as if to say, "Ha ha, Mommy, I am so comfy and I just want to remind you that I am still here!" Yes, I know that I am incredibly fortunate to even be pregnant, and as of tomorrow I'll be induced, so by the weekend I will have him in my arms and be exhausted and happy.

But I'm hormonal and hot and uncomfortable, and the magic of pregnancy is gone.

Beginnings and Endings

2011-06-15T10:02:00.001-04:00

OK, so a few posts ago I titled it "beginnings", and now I have both. This baby is imminent (and I really hope the next time I post it will be me looking exhausted and weepy with a teeny tiny, wrinkly, gorgeous little bean in my arms)--not quite as imminent as I'd like, considering he hasn't dropped enough yet. However, I plan to eat spicy food and have a beer on Friday and hope for the best. I'd love for T to have a true Father's Day if possible, so please send good "come into the world" vibes for him.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to get everything in place. I just finished up the last of my major grading last week and I've got lovely colleagues helping finish my exams for me. I've cooked up and frozen a few meals (although I probably should do more!) for us to defrost when I'm so tired I can't see straight. We've been working like mad people to get the room and the house ready: My mom and sister have come over numerous times to help clean and re-organize, and the baby's room now looks ready, don't you think?:

The organized closet is all my mom and sister M
(Toddler Tamer, recognize the bathrobe?)

Mom and M also re-arranged the clothing drawers.

AND, T finally got the opportunity to get the dining room painted--doesn't it look awesome? As he said, it's Big Kids. It looks like a totally different place. I also love the Pack-n-Play in the middle of things. We picked the color partly because we loved it and partly because we could not pass up the name: LaFonda Green. Not kidding. How can you not paint your dining room LaFonda Green?

(a little Napoleon Dynamite reference)

Before

After (we haven't put the art back up yet)

T also rearranged our bedroom--all he did was angle the bed, and it changes the whole room: We've unblocked the window and just given this whole new dimension of space. Obviously Penny likes it.

I also realized I better get you one more picture of me, so it's not great, but here I am, right before baby J comes. My dear friend D, a great photographer, took some genuine lovely pregnancy shots (no, I did not go au naturel), but I don't have them yet, so this will have to do:

He just has to drop a leeetle more.

So that's the latest wrap-up with us. Hopefully we'll have some news soon!

Hooray for Craigslist

2011-06-07T14:03:00.000-04:00

...and for T for hauling half an hour each way (to Lockport, for those who know it) to get this bookshelf for the baby's room. Nice, huh? The guy's grandfather made it by hand and we got it for a SONG. All it needs is a little scratch hider and some wood finish to spruce it up.

Just another reason why I love my husband

2011-06-04T15:06:00.002-04:00

T picked this hat up for the baby today. I plan to get him the Grover one. I cannot wait to see his on his little head.

Life lessons

2011-06-01T17:08:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, we were at my father-in-law's for dinner and as he and T talked about a difficult day T had had at work, he said something rather insightful and brilliant: It was something to the effect that worrying has no point to it; rather, it should serve as a reminder that you need to do something about it. Not only that, it should remind you that you've dealt with things before and handled them. It really struck both T and me.

I thought about it last night as I prepared for my interview today--the fifth (really, the sixth--I had one two years before I got the job) for my same position in the same school as a long-term sub yet again. In previous years, I've fretted and over-prepared and gotten flustered. I've always managed to get the job, but I always worried. This year, I went into it knowing damn well that I'm a good teacher and that I've proved that repeatedly over the past four years I've been there. A part of me walked in figuring, if they don't know that by now, I simply don't know what else I can do to show it because I've done so every day. (Another part of me totally wanted to have a Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption moment and tell them all of that plus say, "Do what you want; I don't give a shit." I didn't, but I felt rather tempted....)

So I went in, I answered their questions to the best of my ability, and when the principal asked me why I should be chosen for one of the three spots, I looked him straight in the eye and told him "Because I've earned it," and I went through the reasons why I believed that. I didn't mince words and I didn't pander. This time, I didn't worry about it so damned much; I did something about it instead.

I've got a baby on the way, imminently. With the job tenuousness, I have been concerned about the fact that if he's late, my health insurance runs out at the end of the month. So I could panic...or make sure I'm induced by a certain date. I can do something about it instead of worrying about it. It kind of links up with another gem I heard lately: It takes more effort to procrastinate than to actually get the thing done.

I hope this is something you can take and use for yourselves--and remind me about doing instead of worrying when I forget myself. I know I am capable because, without bragging, I've proved it over and over again. So have you. Think about it.

Niiiiiiice

2011-05-27T20:33:00.000-04:00

I just saw my new favorite clip having to do with etiquette that has gone by the wayside while watching Law and Order: Criminal Intent:

Suspect: [says something mildly unhelpful]
Det. Goren: [asks question]
Suspect: [begins texting while Goren speaks to him]
Goren: I'm sorry, are you texting us? Because we're the ones talking to you right now.

BAM. I am totally using that. I get very fussy about phone manners and lack thereof, although I admit I did walk through Target today talking to my mom. However, I didn't have a personal conversation about anything embarrassing. Is that better or just hypocritical?

Getting the lead out

2011-05-24T21:59:00.000-04:00

I've been pondering something lately that's always nagged me slightly, even though I know it shouldn't. I've been at my job for the last four years, and I try to be friendly with everyone because that's just who I am. I have people I've become friendly with, but I've never managed to find anyone I truly click with, and I don't know why. While I realize this is the insecure part of me that I've always tried to whittle away, and I know I'm a good person and friend, that small part of me wonders why it hasn't happened. And it makes me wonder if I'm in the right place. Do I really want to stay somewhere where I'm just considered a "nice person" but where I'm never entirely going to fit? Should that matter? I like many of the people I work with, and they're dedicated to their students and their jobs in a way I genuinely respect. I have good bosses and a good relationship with my students. So what's the problem, really?

I think it's that part of me sees my colleagues forming friendships and having inside jokes and conversations I wish I had at work. I have wonderful friends outside of work who support me and make my life amazing. Yet, perhaps because of the nature of the job, having a buddy seems helpful and a little necessary. I don't know where I'm going with this at all; I just thought I'd finally give voice to it, get it out. It's the end of the school year, I'm a scant 25 days away from my due date, I'm tired and hot, and my defenses are down. But I'm not sorry I wrote this.

Beginnings

2011-05-22T17:35:00.004-04:00

Today marks T's and my seven year re-meet-iversary. Yeah, we mark it, or at least I do. The date is memorable because it's also my sister A's birthday (Happy birthday!), so I'm not a total emotional girlie girl for remembering; just sort of.

But truly...it marked the night I met my husband-to-be, so I think it's pretty great, even though he recognized me immediately and I had to play the Mental Rolodex game of "HOW do I know this guy?" NOTE: Using the "How's your family?" line worked. Hey--we hadn't seen each other in fourteen years and his facial recall is unparalleled. Anyway, we had a date a week later, then more dates, and here we are, 27 scant days away from parenthood. I will admit I knew right away that we had something good; I'd never felt so immediately comfortable with anyone. The fact that we'd attended the same grade school helped--we didn't have to play the getting-to-know-you game quite as much as other folks do, but it was way more than that. We just...fit. He quickly became someone who made me realize that I'm a better person with him than without him...and I mean that in the least clingy, co-dependent way.

I should've written all this on our anniversary a month ago, but I don't think it would have properly included the friendship we forged leading up to our marriage. Truly, that's the important part--that's the foundation. And we work damned hard at it every day, making sure we treat each other honestly and kindly, supporting each other with a hug, a silly e-mail, or a good kick in the butt as needed. As I've gone through these last few months of my life, I realize even more how much I love T and what a wonderful father he'll be. If, by some miracle, baby J is born on his due date, it'll be just in time for Father's Day, and I can't think of anything more fitting.

So, dearest T, happy re-meet-iversary and I love you more than I can begin to express.

One step closer to being ready

2011-05-22T17:23:00.002-04:00

Car seat base and mirror (no, it's not a TV) are installed in both cars!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

Latest bump

2011-05-16T21:21:00.006-04:00

Well, this past weekend I nested like crazy: I baked oatmeal bread AND banana snack cake, and washed a bunch of baby clothes and my mom and sister M (and baby C--four months tomorrow!) helped me fold and organize. We now have drawers filled with clothes and blankets, and I figured out how to work the diaper genie (after pulling out too much of the bag at first), so I think I'm set. Oh wait...we need pacifiers. And I should probably figure out how the hell to actually use the swaddler stuff before I have an unhappy baby who desperately needs to be made into a baby mummy. We also got a chest freezer for the basement off Craig's List for the food we will be making and hopefully receiving that we can simply take out, thaw, and enjoy during the first few weeks with junior. Mom's already contributed lasagna.

I've also started packing a bag for the hospital and printed my study guides for my classes early. This way, Murphy's Law will hopefully ensure that I don't deliver early. Fingers crossed...I just need to get through the 10th, which will give me time to finish grading exams and interview AGAIN for my position for next year (again, it's like Survivor--will I get to stay on the island for another go-around? But hey--if it means a job and uninterrupted health care, I will jump through any hoop they want). So again, here's to hoping.

Anyway, with a little less than five weeks to go, I thought pictures were in order:

No, that's not a basketball.

Mothering

2011-05-09T18:23:00.004-04:00

I had my first sort-of Mother's Day yesterday, and it got me thinking. With my own impending motherhood a scant six weeks away, it becomes more real every day. I (and T) will be fully responsible for this tiny little life, utterly dependent upon me for everything: food, clothing, evacuating, cleaning, warmth, light, you name it. I find this all both daunting and thrilling. He will change my entire life, and no matter how ready or unready I feel, he's on his way. Oh, I've had beautiful showers, I'm watching the videos, and I'm getting lots of advice, but in the end, he's ours to do our best with. And I think we'll do a good job, I really do.

I have had the good fortune of having various mother figures in my life from my own dear mother to friends who have acted as moms-away-from-home. I don't think I would be the person I am today without their guidance, advice, love, friendship, and occasional kicks in the butt.

Quick One...sort of

2011-05-01T14:37:00.003-04:00

I know, I owe lots of pictures and stuff but I am on a mission to not be my usual, great-intention-crummy-follow-through self. Any of you who know me well know what I mean. You look at me fondly and shake your head and smile wryly because you know the Frau gets crazy excited about certain things, does them for a while, and then puts them in a corner to collect dust, either literally or figuratively.

I'm not this way about everything, but it's one of my least favorite qualities about myself, and I'm trying not to be that way because it frustrates me AND my husband and probably others. The rain barrel I bought? Fills up and overflows because I don't use it for the garden I never put together last summer...although I have hope that if we plant it closer to the house this year, I won't need 200ft of hose to even use the dumb rain barrel. Efforts to green up my life? Meh, some stayed, some didn't. Elliptical machine upstairs so I'd use it more? Classic clothes rack.

One of my other qualities is to dump all over myself about bad habits, so I won't go on; I wanted this to be more of a recognition of my faults in an attempt to heighten awareness. For example, I got half my thank-you notes from my beautiful baby shower done IMMEDIATELY and I'm almost done with the rest. But if I don't finish them this week, well.... But I KNOW this. So that helps.

Anyway, I really wanted to write this because I read an article about procrastination this morning in Real Simple and it suggested a great way to avoid the "I'll just surf the Net for ten minutes" joke that turns into hours of wasted time: A free add-on called LeechBlock for Firefox. It allows you to list the sites you waste the most time on them, and it literally blocks them for whatever amount of time you specify. For example, I blocked Blogger (and Facebook, Gmail, Slate.com....) this morning so I could get projects graded from 9-1pm. Even the sheer act of doing this caused me to focus better. There's also Rescue Time, a site that tracks what you actually do on the Internet and then graphs where and how you spend your time--an eye-opener that can show you just how long you spend and how often you go to certain sites.

On that note, I'm getting off Blogger and making myself a well-earned grilled cheese and tomato sandwich and then continuing to grade on the newly restored back porch, where no evil technology can lure me away. Hooray for spring!

Transitions

2011-04-14T20:41:00.008-04:00

Hello! Hello from a place where spring has finally sprung and the Buffalo Sabres are in the playoffs and budgets mean possible job changes (more on that later) and I just had to get new garments for my endlessly changing body. LOTS of changes.

On the pregnancy front, I have suddenly become significantly more winded after climbing stairs. I look at this in two ways, depending on my mood: 1) Oh, dear, does this just mean it will get WORSE before June? and 2) This means the baby is healthy and growing, so it makes sense that he will fight for space with my lungs. I attempt to focus on #2. It makes me happier. Little man bops around like a jumping bean right now. Yesterday he had hiccups--I know this because I was lying down with the laptop just below my belly and he actually caused the computer to move with the force of his own self. Amazing. He also seemed to respond well to the kick-ass David Bowie station T made on Pandora.com--I feel this bodes well for his musical taste. And for those who asked, here are the latest pictures of us:

I know I have no face in these, but trust that I am smiling or looking serene. The ladder in the background marks T and various wonderful, helpful friends' attempts to paint both our dining room and the baby's room. T has done a wonderful job, especially considering that we've learned the hard way that spackle takes a lot longer to dry than we had assumed and ceiling water damage means paint will either not stick or will chip right off. My dad was in town last weekend for my grandma's 96th birthday (awesome) and helped paint the ceiling in the baby's room, which looks terrific. I'm so glad he got to be a part of it, even if it did mean manual labor for him:

I just like this one because it signifies what's to come:

And here's the beginning of the paint; doesn't it look nice?

Thus the rest of the house looks like a bomb hit it while furniture and glassware waits patiently to go back to its old (or new) home, but it all means something new and nicer is on its way. More to come!

How we roll

2011-04-03T08:18:00.008-04:00

If you've never gone to www.cafepress.com, it's a site where you can buy and make your own t-shirts--and lots of other items-- for a very reasonable price. We made these two onesies for baby J because 1) we have great and slightly off-color senses of humor, and 2) T wants him to eventually join the Masons, so we've decided to start him out early ("Lewis" is a Masonic term for the son of a Mason. Don't ask me to explain it further, although T did and can tell you all about it):

Who better than Calvin?

That's the primary Masonic symbol of the square and compass

We found the pictures and chose the fonts; we had a lot of fun doing it. I don't always go in for personalizing clothing, but how could we resist when the site makes it this fun?

Springing up

2011-04-02T09:17:00.008-04:00

Just reminding myself and others that teeny, tiny signs of spring have finally begun to arrive:

I've seen shoots coming up in my neighbor's garden, and I'd probably see some in mine if I really looked. The trees have definite buds.
The snow, while still occasionally coming down, is finally melting and there's more green and brown than white out there. To that end, I've dug out my galoshes and mucked around outside, and I've retired my big winter boots.
Penny has joyfully discovered every damn mud patch she can find and looks as though she's wearing little dark brown shoes when she comes into the house.
I haven't worn a wool sweater in almost a week. Considering Buffalo springs are temperamental at best, this is a huge improvement.
Seniors have begun to pay a lot less attention in class. In a month, some will come to me and ask if there's "anything they can do to raise their grade" in order to graduate. I will tell them, again, to go back in time and do all the work they should've done up to this point.
Runners have switched from leggings to shorts
I have begun to consider stretching the budget to include a few more cheerful clothing pieces that will accommodate my own stretching tummy
Cadbury Egg time has become more and more precious

In other, next generation news, Baby J has become significantly more wiggly and active, and my niece C gets cuter every blessed day. Growth happening everywhere, really!

True Love

2011-03-24T18:40:00.003-04:00

Two days ago as T and I sat at breakfast, I told him about having some cheesy instrumental 80s TV theme song in my head. I could not remember which show it was, and it was driving me crazy. Upon my belting out the first bar, he immediately joined in and we sang it together.

"Is it Magnum?"
"No, no, that goes dum bum bum BUHnahnahnuh..."

[and I then joined in and we scatted out Magnum, P.I. together at the table and laughed hysterically.]

"But that's not it...what IS IT?"

[long pause]

"CHiPs! It's totally CHiPs!"

My husband's recall for the utterly useless is excellent. This is why 1) I had that damn song in my head all day, and 2) it's one of many, many reasons we're so well-matched.

Fortunate

2011-03-24T18:16:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was my birthday. I'm thirty-fortunate, as dear Idealist puts it. I thought about it, and I realized how right she is. I had ideas as to what I'd be doing at around this age, those nebulous thoughts of "where I'm going to be at age ____", that sort of thing. I figured I'd have a couple of kids, married, job (not teaching...mom's the teacher), living somewhere in New England or something. Nothing fancy.

I still don't have anything fancy, but that seems right to me. I have a lot more than many people: I have a husband whom I love dearly, who loves me just as much. I have dear friends and family both far and near whom I can count on. I get to work in a profession I love that allows me to use my strengths to their utmost as long as I'm savvy enough to keep recognizing it. I'm growing a healthy baby boy, and my grandmother is still alive and sharp enough at almost 96 to know that I'm calling him after her husband and my father. My sweet little dog cannot stop cuddling with us. We have a house that remains relatively cool in the summer and warm in the winter.

I don't mean to brag. I just want to attempt to express how deeply fortunate I am and that I recognize it. Maybe not as often as I should; I think in many ways we tend to complain or brood about things going wrong. I don't know if that's media or the crazy pace of the world or what, but I do try to see at some point every day what a blessed and wonderful life I have.

Sugar

2011-03-12T13:04:00.006-05:00

Thank you, Amalah, for the inspiration for this post.

On Thursday I did my glucose test for gestational diabetes (extremely routine, for those who don't know). First of all, good thing I spoke with sister M beforehand because she told me I had to sit there for an hour afterward while the glucose...did its thing. That's how a number of our conversations have gone during this pregnancy:

M: Well, you have to do X/you can't do Y/did they tell you about Z?

Me: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? We have the same doctor! Why don't they tell me ANYTHING?

M: Did you ask them about it?/One of my friends told me.

Me: Oh, well, [rant rave calm down eventually]. Glad you told me.

Thank God she did this...she has saved my bacon more than once. Hence, I took a book to the Quest Diagnostic lab where they run all sorts of fun medical, blood work-involved tests. Went to the one nearest me where they informed me that I couldn't do the test because it was 3:20 and they closed at 4:00. Then she told me I better hurry to the next nearest place, gave me vague directions, and left the room. And I left my insurance card there. FYI: Don't try calling a medical diagnostic lab anywhere close to closing time because they will not pick up the phone. Shocking.

Fortunately I did get into the next place, and the woman who gave me my sugary orange glucose drink was lovely and reassuring. So I got to sit in the dingy waiting room for an hour, a room filled with numerous men. That wouldn't have mattered so much had the TV not been tuned to Oprah, whose happy topic dealt with men who had been molested. Not awkward at all. Thus I tried to dive into my book and ignore the story about the twins whose priest had singled them out for five years while they served as altar boys. Not kidding. (I'm glad she did the show; I know many men probably needed it, but I felt a sort of desperation to turn it to Ellen and see what silly game she was playing with some attractive male actor guest.)

One hour and three vials of blood later, I headed home. I realize now doing this test probably accounted for me falling asleep at 8:30: I was crashing hard from the sugary concoction, which reminded me of childhood birthday parties drinking Kool-Aid out of little Dixie cups. I find out at my next visit how it all panned out; meanwhile I will attempt to stave off my craving for Cadbury eggs, which I love even when not pregnant. We'll see how that goes.

Ah, and here's my latest bump picture, taken about two weeks ago. I should just take another because I know he's gotten bigger since then. I've also begun exposing him to music via headphones on my tummy. T said we should start him out on funk, but I thought we should ease him in with the Beatles. However, rest assured he will be funkified at some point. He'll be the only three year-old who can identify George Clinton, Soulive, and Lettuce. I love it.

Karma

2011-03-05T13:00:00.007-05:00

I meant to write about this before, but the week went by in a complete blur. Anyway, last Sunday I headed to the coffee place the next little town over to get some grading done. I go there fairly often because it has the right white noise atmosphere that helps me get work done, a combination of big band/jazz music and human conversation. Plus they have delicious pastries. I did some grading, left, and as I walked through the parking lot, I found $12 in the snow. I looked around and didn't see anyone, thought about it for a minute, and made a decision: Walking back into the coffee shop, I put $2 in the tip jar and handed the $10 to the barista behind the counter, asking him to pay for the next person's coffee. I could've kept it for myself, but I figured since the thought crossed my mind to give it to someone else, I should. I have no idea if coffee boy simply pocketed it or did a good deed; I at least made an attempt to pay it forward.

Upon getting ready for work the next day, I realized I couldn't find one of my homework folders, filled with assignments my one class period had turned in. When I got home, I planned to ransack the house to find it even though I'd already looked once. As I got ready to go home at the end of the day, I received a call from the front office saying someone from the coffee house had found a folder of mine and they had it waiting for me. It turns out I'd left it there (pregnancy brain or just me? probably a combination of both...) and an out-of-work music teacher who works there as a barista had spotted it in the lost and found. Fortunately, she realized it belonged to a teacher and actually called two schools before calling mine to see if a Mrs. Frau who taught ninth grade worked there. I discovered this when I went back to get it and fell all over myself thanking this young woman that she'd taken such time and effort to make sure I got my materials back. She truly saved me a lot of agony in that simple yet significant act.

Would I have gotten the folder back had I not given up that $12? I don't know. I hope so, but I prefer to look at it as one good act begetting another. The entire cycle of events gave me a nice boost of faith in the importance of doing good for others, no matter how small.

Go-To Dinner: Barbecue Pulled Chicken Sliders

2011-02-24T19:08:00.005-05:00

Hey, folks! Just a quick post sharing my new favorite go-to, super quick, relatively healthy dinner I just found in Cooking Light. We tried these tonight with great success. Enjoy!

Barbecue Pulled Chicken Sliders:
For a less sweet option, use sliced dill pickles.

Total: 20 minutes
Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 2 sandwiches)

Ingredients

1/2 cup no-salt-added ketchup
1 tablespoon dark brown sugar (I used light brown; tasted fine)
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard (I bet regular would work, too)
1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/8 teaspoon ground allspice
2 cups shredded skinless, boneless rotisserie chicken breast
8 (1.3-ounce) sliders mini buns (such as Pepperidge Farm)
8 bread-and-butter pickle chips

Preparation

1. Combine first 10 ingredients in a small saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a simmer; cook 3 minutes or until slightly thick, stirring occasionally. Add chicken to ketchup mixture; stir to combine. Cook 2 minutes or until chicken is thoroughly heated.

2. Spoon 3 tablespoons chicken mixture on bottom half of each bun; top each with 1 pickle chip and top half of bun.

Nutritional Information

Calories: 400
Fat: 7.5g (sat 2.3g,mono 0.9g,poly 0.5g)
Protein: 30g
Carbohydrate: 52.7g
Fiber: 1.9g
Cholesterol: 60mg
Iron: 2.7mg
Sodium: 481mg
Calcium: 83mg

I did this in under 15 minutes. As a new mom-to-be, I have begun looking at recipes that take 20 minutes or so. Trust me, as I find more of them, I'll post them.

It gets more real every day....

2011-02-22T12:42:00.001-05:00

And today Mom and sister M are taking me to Babies 'R Us to choose the essentials.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Bumpy

2011-02-03T19:36:00.005-05:00

Several have asked for pictures of preggo me, so here you go, me at almost 20 full weeks (21 starts Saturday). That's 4 1/2 months, people. Halfway done cooking the bun!

Oh, and look at this gorgeous baby blanket one of my seniors made me. Covered with Eric Carle illustrations, it made me smile and brought me pretty damn close to tears in the middle of a classroom. She totally blew me away.

Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see? I see something incredibly thoughtful.

Happy happenings

2011-02-01T19:11:00.003-05:00

Consider this a counter-post to the previous one:

1) Yesterday Penny turned three. She celebrated by throwing up in the middle of the night and getting chicken for dinner as a result.

2) I think I finally felt the baby move the other day. And I'm halfway done cooking him.

3) My youngest sister just got engaged! January has given a lot of genuine happiness to my family.

Budget woes

2011-02-01T18:49:00.003-05:00

Today the proposed state budget came out. Looks like a lot of cuts, including, of course, education. This means schools, which means teachers, which may well mean me. I'm writing this in immediate response to this and the warning from my principal that cuts would be, in his words, "unprecedented". So while I've had to deal with this for the past four years, this year feels different for a number of reasons.

We all knew this was coming. Last year the school district barely squeaked by because we managed to raise taxes just enough to cover the deficit in spending. But now the governor has proposed a cap on how much to raise taxes...and I can't blame him. The state can't keep taxing everyone to death because it's so screwed up financially that the only way out is to gouge its citizens. I live in the county with the highest taxes in the COUNTRY. Don't think I don't know. Frustration just boils through, that it always seems as though education gets cut first instead of reorganizing and trimming fat from places we damn well know could lose some. Or a lot.

I'm scared. Being 34, a mom, and jobless doesn't fit well with my mental picture of my life. I know I'll land on my feet, but my position is at best precarious. I've played this game of Survivor and stayed on the island, to stretch the metaphor, so far. However, I've never had so much at stake before. We have a child coming, and I can't afford not to work. Yes, I'll find something--I'm qualified and have good references. T will get another job if he has to. But I don't mind expressing that the meantime doesn't feel good at all.

I will try very hard to work on what I can control. I've updated my resume. I'll stay calm. No more extraneous purchases. Keep baby healthy in utero. Particularly, I can focus on the rest of this school year and making damned sure I give those students everything I've got. Best of all, I'm not in any way in this alone. I have a wonderful support system in my husband, family, and friends, and we will come out of this.

I just have to remember that.

The new ride

2011-01-29T11:57:00.001-05:00

Check out T's new (to us) car! It's forest green and gets double the gas mileage of the old Jeep. Plus it "initiated" itself this morning by getting stuck in the driveway on the way to the DMV.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

A dog's life

2011-01-26T19:55:00.005-05:00

I haven't blogged about Penny in a while. I think it's ok to entertain you with Penny Tales.

My dearest Pen loves, loves, LOVES the winter. This has upsides and downsides. Watching her run around like a fuzzy little bullet, blazing her way through the drifts and burying her snout in the snow just to look excitedly at me as if to say, "HI! Mama, this is the best thing EVER! Nowigodoitagainagainagain!!!!!", makes me laugh with delight. However, once we get her home, as you have seen, getting the snowy crust off her wee legs and tummy takes quite some time. She looks like The Thing from the Fantastic Four, only with snow. Inevitably she has to spend time thawing in the back room until we finally let her small, damp self out.

She then goes to find a bit of couch to dry out, curled up in a Pennyball. However, I don't want Her Sogginess on our nice furniture, so I drape towels on the cushions for her to lie on. Inevitably, she will manage to get to the one place I didn't cover and snuggle riiiiight...there.

As we tell her at least three times a day, what a rough, rough life she leads.

pictures of my new niece!

2011-01-18T09:02:00.003-05:00

Here you go!

Mommy and baby

Proud parents

Baby feet!

Little C

Uncle T and his niece

Oh, boy....

2011-01-18T05:43:00.006-05:00

Item 1: Good thing I didn't take a picture of our new bedroom light because T has whacked his head on it several times, so it's moving to my office and we'll get one that's more flush to the ceiling.

Item 2: MY SISTER M HAD HER BABY YESTERDAY!!!!! Hah! I totally fooled you about the mundane nature of this post! Baby girl C is absolutely beautiful and already lifts her wee head up and looks strikingly like my sister. I will post pictures ASAP. I have a ton. On another note, I sincerely hope my labor goes as well and quickly as M's did. Everyone looked elated and a bit tired, as one would expect.

Item 3: We're having a boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We meant to wait until we got to dinner to open some silly envelope, but please. We had to know then and there. Fortunately his little bait and tackle were right there to see. Now I just have to compromise with T, who wants to paint the baby's room in Buffalo Sabres colors. :-)

Never did a Monday hold so much utter and complete happiness.

Pictures to follow!

This awesome house

2011-01-16T07:50:00.012-05:00

Hi. HI! How've you been? Me? Thanks for asking. Weeeell, this was a trying week because I got a cold. (Big deal. Blow your nose, drug up, and move on.) Weeeeell, not so much. According to my gorgeous, wonderful, brilliant OB, I could indeed take certain types of cold medicine, including Tylenol PM. This helped. Tremendously. The downside is that my little system doesn't have quite the immunity it usually does, so this sucker has lasted me the entire week. Fortunately, misery loves company, and T had it all week as well. Plus, I have found that I get a heck of a lot of sympathy and extra kindness for being pregnant. I don't take it for granted, but I won't deny it if it's given.... I figure I tend to push myself pretty hard most of the rest of the time, so taking nine months of my life to take it somewhat easy is acceptable.

On a much lighter note, last week we did some great around-the-house stuff that, while not major, made major changes. I realize how I've come to a certain point in my life where light fixtures and sofas and faucets can make my week, which I never saw happening. But then, I never thought I'd get excited about going to bed at 9pm. Does that mean I'm a grown-up? At any rate, we've had the same light fixtures since we moved in, meaning the previous owners' choices. I think they got those lights sometime during Reagan's presidency. His first term. [Shudder] But we pooled our Christmas money and got new overhead lights for the kitchen, T's man room, and our bedroom. I don't know if you've ever done this for yourselves, but it changed the whole dynamic. They're glorious. It's as if we repainted the rooms. Here! I'll show you! (I don't have comparison shots; I'm sorry. We threw them out. Trust that they were ugly.)

new kitchen lights

new den lights

We don't have the bedroom light up yet, but I'm sure it will be life-changing as well. We also had help from a handyman at T's work who helped (IE did almost everything because we don't know doodly about it) us redo the plumbing for the kitchen sink--good thing, because the old metal pipes leaked and were so soft that T could squeeze them and dent them with his hand. We also got new fixtures:

So shiny! Now we have a working sprayer and a soap-dispenser!
I feel like a Rockefeller!

Finally, the new sleeper sofa. We inherited one from my stepdad R which is now going to go to a charitable cause at school. It had a good, long life, but we figured since the guest room will now become the baby's room, we need a nice new sleeper for guests--and it's downstairs away from a potentially crying baby (or parent, depending on how long the baby's kept us up). This sofa is a gorgeous, buttery, dark brown and it looks perfect in the room:

Doesn't it look nice against the red?

Not bad, huh?

P.S. My sister M is due THIS WEDNESDAY and we find out the sex of our baby TOMORROW.

Christmas breakfast

2010-12-30T14:47:00.003-05:00

Thought I'd add this, since I said I'd give the recipe to my sister and now I just think you all should have it 'cause it ROCKED. This is what T and I made Christmas morning, the first Christmas morning in a long time that I didn't have to go anywhere. I love my family dearly, but the sheer number of places T and I have to go sometimes gets exhausting, so sitting around in uncombed hair and comfy jammies felt pretty great. Anyway, here's the pretty picture of the Jalapeno, Sausage, Jack, and Egg Breakfast Braid:

Ours didn't look exactly like that, but hey, it tasted just fine. It really didn't take a lot of effort to make, and it kept for breakfast the next morning leftovers. Yum!

Oh yeah, this blog

2010-12-29T14:18:00.004-05:00

I just have so much to tell, that I'll try to give a shortish version. As my father said, my last few actual posts have included a lot of...creativity because I'd kept something to myself that I wasn't ready to reveal. Therefore, I should probably start with that:

I'm pregnant. YES, I AM. Most of my readers already know this, but some of you may not, so there you go. I'm almost four months along and have a bit of a tummy, which is nothing compared to my sister M, who's due in about three WEEKS and looks like she's smuggling a basketball around. We took pictures together over the holidays and I mainly just look like I need to exercise more, but I know it's a BABY. T and I had the first trimester ultrasound and saw it moving and sucking its thumb and wriggling around. To quote Ragu (or is it Prego? HAH! That would be so funny if it was Prego), it's in there. So we're terrified and excited and in June, our lives will forever change. So that's pretty exciting, to say the least.

Other than that little tidbit, just life. I meant to post during our snow days about a month ago but I just couldn't get myself into it, for some reason. There was always something else to do. I don't know if it's nesting or what, but I've finally started to really, truly keep the house more organized on a more consistent basis, utilizing that nursery school mantra of "a place for everything, and everything in its place". I now mentally think, Does that shirt belong there, or hung up/in the hamper, hmmm? I have confused poor T on several occasions when I "cleaned up" (IE threw away) something he needed. But there are at least two loads of laundry sitting patiently in the basement waiting to be folded, so some things haven't changed.

We had a lovely holiday with family, who bestowed us with generous and thoughtful gifts, love, and more food than we could handle. Perfect. Even though this particular holiday included my grandfather passing away, Dad still had a good time and commented on the circle of life: He's got three grandkids and two on the way, and Grandpa's death wasn't unexpected. But I know he felt especially happy to have all of us there. Unfortunately, Christmas night ended abruptly for T, who caught an 18-hour bug which I then got yesterday. It was NOT pregnancy related. Trust me. Thank God for oatmeal. Penny also took it upon herself to snuggle with each of us during our bedridden stages, which truly did help.

Now, I just want to reiterate even before the beginning of the year how grateful I am for the dozens of little kindnesses that have come my way: congratulations from many, an unexpected Christmas card from former students, gifts for Penny, calls from friends about everything and nothing, silly e-mails that made my day, a giant bottle of ginger ale and a tummy rub yesterday from T, maternity clothes from my neighbor, and others I can't even think of. I have many, many reasons to smile during this time of year (and most other times, really). I'll try to post more often, too. Maybe it'll be one of my resolutions.

So if I don't post beforehand, have a wonderful New Year's Eve and try to look back on everything that happened to you in 2010, good or bad, and I bet (I hope!) you'll find that you had a good year. I know I did.

Happiness for the Holidays

2010-12-03T09:23:00.002-05:00

Makes me miss my choir, although I had to quit for good reasons. I've always loved the Hallelujah Chorus and I love these singing flash mobs.

Penny in the snow

2010-12-02T16:29:00.001-05:00

Doesn't she look like a star-nosed mole? The snow gets caught in her fur like crazy.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Winter wonderland

2010-12-02T16:27:00.001-05:00

Part of our snow day!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Something lost

2010-11-23T20:05:00.006-05:00

A few friends sent me a note on Facebook of the 100 books the BBC bets most people have not read more than six of. While pleased to realize that I've read or half-read many of them, it made me realize something else: I've gotten away from reading. I used to be the consummate bookworm, waking up early in middle school just so I could read. I loved almost nothing more than books. They were my favorite gift. I still refuse to buy a Kindle because, to me, even though it's convenient, there's just something about the tactile feeling of holding a book and flipping pages that I will always love. My bookshelves show a life history.

I make excuses about why I don't read as much: I have lessons to plan and essays to grade, I have to clean the house, I'm not home all evening, it's too solitary.... But I took a look at myself this past weekend, and I had plenty of opportunity to read. Plenty. And what did I do? I tooled around on the computer and I watched TV. Lots of it. When did I become what I most feared? When did I allow screens to overtake ink and paper? I have books I received over a year ago and I haven't cracked them. As I get older and add more to my life, I know my own personal time will become even more limited. So I guess it's a question of how I want to spend the minutes to myself, which grow more precious and few (...wait, isn't that a song title?) as time goes on. And it's something I can do something about.

Therefore, after this, I think I'm going to go upstairs and read. Even if it's something I've read before but haven't read in a while (Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis, if you must know), it's still me getting back to an essential part of me for as long as I can.

Oh boy

2010-11-12T17:53:00.004-05:00

I think a month between posts really is too long, but I can't really write about my job too much for obvious reasons (as a teacher, I feel certain obligations) and grades were just due and, well, it's been a busy fall, kids. Quite busy.

But I felt I owed you all something because you seem to like my little witticisms and anecdotes, so I will try. I have to take a nap soon because we're going out at 9 to meet a friend at a bar for her birthday, and really, what crazy folks go out at 9 on a Friday!?!?! Oh yeah, normal people. So weenie me needs to get some time in because if I have more than two drinks, I will start to fall asleep at the bar. This actually happened to me once. I swear. It's why I don't drink more than one glass of red wine out because, for some reason, that stuff is like codeine for me: I was talking to this lovely woman whom I'd just met and began to fall asleep while I was talking to her. Hand of God, it happened. Deeply embarrassed, I lied and told her I'd taken cold medication and forgotten, and it must have reacted with the wine. She graciously waved it off, I went to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face, and drank club soda for the rest of the night. So, no wine for me tonight. I'll rally and have fun and act like someone who doesn't fall asleep with the time change.

What else, what else? Let's see...so excited about Harry Potter that I can barely contain myself. A, do you want to go with me on Saturday for a matinee? I do love seeing it at night, but it will be SO CROWDED. Plus I'm booked Friday night. Hell, I'll go by myself. One of my favorite movie-going ventures was seeing The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers on opening night by myself. I had no trouble finding a seat, the people next to me shared their popcorn, and we all cheered and marveled at the latest masterpiece. Dammit. Now I want to go on Friday and I can't. That really is fun, when all the fellow Potter nerds are seeing how it all unfolds, comparing it to the novel and all that. OK, A, want to go on Saturday night with me?

Honestly, the rest of my days and nights have been filled with small pleasures and work, which I love. Friends visiting here and there, winterizing the house, playing with Penny, the usual. I feel quite lucky and blessed to have this little life, so I'm off to enjoy it. Have a good weekend, my dears!

Advice from someone who knows

2010-10-12T15:35:00.003-04:00

So we've started reading Tuesdays with Morrie in the one class I teach. If you haven't read it, I will write here that I truly did find it inspiring and believe that if we could all live a little more like Morrie Schwartz did, we'd all have much happier lives. Honestly, I found myself disliking Mitch Albom, the author, a lot, but loved Morrie. If you find this sort of stuff treacly and sappy, well, maybe you're just not ready to let in the life lessons? I don't know. I enjoyed it.

Here's what my students have to write about tonight:

On p. 42 Mitch considers again Morrie's statement that "The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say, if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it." Look not only at that quote but what Albom writes immediately before and after it. [he writes about how everyone was so wrapped up in the three-ring circus of the O.J. Simpson trial and how he writes stories about athletes and their celebrity... and who actually CARES about what house Andre Agassi just bought? Why does that matter?]

Do you agree with Morrie's statement? How easy is it to not give in to our culture? How does the media influence us to care about superficial things instead of what might be more meaningful? Any other comments based on Morrie's original are welcome.

So what do you think? I wrote a response about how our culture really doesn't make us feel good about ourselves a lot of the time...we should look a certain way, buy certain things, always look young, make tons of money.... How many of us know more about Lindsay Lohan's latest arrest and how many know about the fact that Chilean miners were rescued today after two months underground? How often does news start with a story that truly isn't newsworthy but is entertainment? We have become so used to being entertained and instantly gratified that I think we (well, I) lose perspective sometimes.

I had a wonderful time with T on Saturday just getting the yard raked and mowed, and winterizing the porch. I didn't want to do it, but I got outside, I accomplished something, and I felt grateful for the fact that I have a lovely, large backyard and a house to winterize. I think Morrie got me thinking about that. Went out dancing with the girls Saturday night--such fun. Then I had a rotten morning on Sunday and had a lovely afternoon with my dear friend M who took me out for comfort soup and shoe shopping because she knew I needed it. That's what's important, not an NCIS Columbus Day marathon or what some reality show star (now, there's an oxymoron) is doing.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Just seeing how the Droid Blogger app works

2010-10-07T16:49:00.001-04:00

My sweeties

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.2

Advertising

2010-09-15T18:22:00.003-04:00

I was home sick today (Wednesday) with laryngitis. This makes it extremely hard to teach, although, as I noted elsewhere, extremely creative. Fortunately most of my students were quite kind. Only a few kept muttering to their classmates, "Dude, I can't hear her." NO KIDDING. I also love, "Hey, Mrs. Frau, 'd you lose your voice?" No, I'm just mixing it up a bit. For fun. Fortunately I could glare and whistle, and those skills helped a great deal. Hot tea also helps. And frozen yogurt.

So as I lay in bed not talking and watching a bit of TV, I saw an ad and now will compile a list I call

Conversations Topics Women NEVER EVER Discuss in Real Life*:

- detailed birth control methods and their side effects
- the effectiveness of yogurt in digestive health
- women's vitamins
- anything where the phrase "just call your doctor" and "side effects" are used together
- how great chatting on a 1-900 number for singles was

That is all.

*All right, someone, somewhere may discuss them. But it's rare.

Summer Wrap-Up

2010-09-07T15:11:00.004-04:00

Hi. Hi! How are you? I know I meant to post all the time during the summer and then...summer happened. And I didn't want to go upstairs to my hot computer and post. I'm sorry. Plus my laptop was broken, so I couldn't go somewhere cool to blog. I blame the laptop. Bad, bad laptop.

So I'll give you all a quick re-cap:

Once a week, I taught Alternative Ed to about five students. These kids for the most part are more academic delinquents than juvenile; they just didn't fit the mold for normal school hours. I found them both trying and endearing. The one kid who didn't do anything now has me for 1st period English. Keep your fingers crossed for him. And me.
Because I have an entirely new class this semester, I tried to spend 2 hours a day preparing for fall. A lot of this included reading new novels. I did pretty well--it also helps that I have no kids to take care of and that I live three hundred yards away from school, so I did a lot of photocopying over the summer.
On that note, with the help of a lovely doctor-lady, I found out that I do NOT have ADHD but do have deficits in organization and time-management. Case in point: I missed our last appointment because I forgot to put it on my calendar. That, kids, defines irony. Fortunately we did the appointment over the phone. So I've tried very hard to make my Google Calendar my end-all, be-all, updating it and color-coding it and using the Task list like crazy. It's helped tremendously. As a result, for the first time EVER I started the school year today totally ready and not mildly panicked because I had everything labeled, in its proper color folder, and ready to go. I still have a lot to work on, but at least I'm getting tools in place.
I worked out faithfully and lost no weight, nor do my clothes fit more loosely. So I went on Weight Watchers with T and got my trainer friend A to kick my butt. So far, so good.
This August T and I went to Denver, CO to watch our dear friends get married on the side of a mountain--just a lucky handful of us got to see them perform their own vows (legal only in CO and PA to do that!) and all of us wept at the beauty of the moment, the couple, the scenery, the love. Plus Denver's a cool town to visit AND, as I type this, the newlyweds are headed back to Buffalo to live, so we get them back because, as I told the bride last summer, WE HAVE DIBS. I'm sorry, Bostonian and Tennesseean friends. I CALL 'EM.
Got into the Stieg Larsson trilogy and cannot stop reading them. I just love Lisbeth Salander. LOVE her.
Also got into Mad Men. Don Draper is the man you love to despise. He's such a terrific flawed anti-hero. I also pledge here and now to stay far, far away from the Betty Draper Method of Parenting.
Speaking of parenting, my sister M and her husband C expect a baby in January! Plus they moved back to the B-lo as well, so it's happiness all around.
I decided to call people and get in touch more, take my own advice and make the effort. So far, it's worked quite well. I plan to keep it that way.
I finally found and began compiling our wedding pictures. Whoops. Looking through them and remembering the joy of the day, captured so well on film, has brought such joy. I'll try to put together an album soonish.
OH! T got a new job and loves it. It's at a similar company to his old one but gives him the opportunity to spread his wings a little. I am so, so proud of him.

That's it, really. I never got my garden started, but we have some fun and necessary house projects coming up. T and I decided to become more organized, together, for a lot of reasons, least of which includes less stress for us. Friendships waxed and waned, small decisions we made will have good ripple effects later....really, it's just life that happened. More to come.

T and me in Colorado

Four Things

2010-08-16T13:36:00.004-04:00

Ouiser tagged me, so here goes:

4 things you'd find in my bag:
My bag is my school bag, so you'd find
- one green or purple pen
- a textbook
- stray paperclips
- bobby pins for hair emergencies

4 things you'd find in my purse:
- wallet
- glasses microfiber wipe thingie
- more bobby pins, a hair elastic
- mini Tide pen for self and husband stain emergencies

4 favorite things in my room (on the nightstand):
- a half-empty glass of water
- My St. Paul's Book of Common Prayer
- a list of things T loves about me, given to me on our first wedding anniversary
- My journal

4 things I'm currently into:
- cooking using my Whole Grains Every Day, Every Way cookbook
- actually organizing my life and teaching in terms of planning ahead, color-coordinating folders, and using my Google calendar like crazy
- Mad Men (I can't stand Don Draper, yet I am drawn to his perfect and flawed facade of a life)
- the Girl trilogy by Stieg Larsson

4 things you don't know about me:
- The movie The Blair Witch Project terrified me so badly, I almost had to leave because, for some reason, I truly believed it could happen.
- I have to fold my napkin in its original form before I leave a restaurant. I don't know why.
- Occasionally, for no reason, I will stand on one leg with the other foot balanced on the inside of the opposite knee (like tree pose, for those who do yoga). I am partially convinced in a former life I was a bushwoman who tended sheep, as I have often seen pictures of them doing this.
- When I walk to school in the morning, I sing Carole King's song "Beautiful" to remind myself to have a good day and to have confidence in myself.

More of a real entry soon. I've got some things I'm mulling over for entries; just have to sort it out.

The Death...I mean Dirt Bike

2010-07-26T19:33:00.007-04:00

First of all, I will freely admit that the inspiration for this post comes from the latest post at Hyperbole and a Half. I dare you to read it without laughing. However, I haven't posted in a while and, while I cannot draw the pictures as Allie can, I have my own traumatic story.

The summer after I'd turned six, my dearest wish was to spend the night at YMCA day camp. They did one sleep-over every summer where we'd all spend the night OUTSIDE! in SLEEPING BAGS! and it was the highlight of my summer, possibly my year. I wanted to go even more than I wanted to meet Big Bird. Daddy had one stipulation: I had to learn to ride a bike first. Cool; I wanted to do this! Riding bikes meant freedom and wind in my hair and awesomeness! Yay!

So...

He taught me on my older brother's shiny silver Huffy dirt bike. It had hand brakes and semi-working foot brakes. I was too little to get on it by myself; my dad had to balance the bike and lift me on. Thus, I could not get off, either, without the bike falling on me.

God, how I learned to hate that bike.

I can picture it now, haunting my six year-old imagination, leaning against the garage all shiny and tall, waiting to tip me over. Laughing at me. How it taunted me. Bastard bike. No lingering mental scars here.

I quickly learned to fear the sound of Daddy's car coming home from work: The door would slam and I'd hear the dreaded words: "Let's practice bike riding!" I would run screaming in terror and try to hide. (It's true. Ask my mom.) I think part of the reason it took ALL SUMMER was that I would leap off the bike before it had a chance to eject me, and Dad would curse and make me try again, implying this time, I'd better stay on that bike.

Finally, the day before the sleep-over arrived. I uttered a final prayer and was told that if I could make it all the way up the driveway and into the garage, I could go. Only the thought of me in my Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag, my stuffed monkey Rocky by my side, allowed me to wobble my way quickly up the driveway...YES! I HAD MADE IT! I RODE A BIKE! I...rode right into the side of the garage and fell. However, Daddy took pity on me and let me go. He probably would have, anyway, but I didn't know that. It was a proud moment for me, folks. I had achieved two dreams that day.

...Never mind that the counselors let us stay outside for about an hour and then announced that the weatherman had forecast rain and we had to go inside and sleep on a crummy basement floor. I never realized until later that that had been a big fat LIE. The fact that they pulled the same line the next year may have alerted me. But I learned to ride and eventually got a coveted pink bike with streamers AND a flowered banana seat.

Final note: My sisters learned to ride using a neighbor's teeny weeny, barely-six-inches-off-the-ground bike. Each of them raced around like Lance Friggin' Armstrong in an afternoon.

Oh, I like to think that summer of '83 was just a starting point for me, a stepping stone, if you will, in life. Truly, all obstacles since then have simply been one death Huffy to overcome in order to attain that symbolic sleep-over....

The Perils of Voice Technology

2010-07-19T16:23:00.003-04:00

My dad sent me this. It's funny yet makes quite a comment on how we treat people from different cultures.

P.S. the right side gets a bit cut off--you can also see it on YouTube.

Cool Technology

2010-07-15T15:54:00.003-04:00

In my quest to become more organized, Google has given me a new tool: the wonder wheel:

Has everyone seen this? It's so handy. It makes me giddy with organized happiness. Use it. Just do a regular Google search and then click the "Wonder Wheel" option on the left, and it organizes everything into little components. An old site, Grokker, used to do this, but the site shut down for reasons unbeknownst to me. Anyway, extremely nifty.

And I know I've written about this before, but if you're not using Delicious for your bookmarks, you are MISSING OUT.

That is all. Stay cool. Literally.

Undecided

2010-07-05T15:37:00.004-04:00

I saw this on The Bloggess, and I just can't decide how I feel:

On the one hand, if it gets kids to read, FANTASTIC. Perhaps it'll start an entire wave of young readers hankering for Victorian fiction and the like. I can see it now...throngs of my students delving into Rebecca, Jane Eyre, and Dr. Zhivago. Not bad, actually.

On the other hand, I don't know how Emily Bronte would feel about this. It seems a little sad that Harper Collins has chosen to decide that the only way a young person of this generation would even read the classics is if fictional characters give it a thumbs-up. I shudder a bit.

I think I have to grudgingly go with my first "hand", however. If it gets kids reading good literature, run with it. I can't wait for it to seep into their writing....

What say you, readers?

UPDATE: My two commenters thus far have caused me to expand on my position and my thinking, and I have responded in the comment section. I think it adds a lot to the original post. Thanks, ladies!

Utterly Random Questions and Observations

2010-07-01T11:25:00.004-04:00

1) Has anyone else ever noticed that in B-grade movies, the characters overuse each others' names to an obnoxious extent? Next time you watch a movie that you realize is mediocre at best, see if this is true. Case in point: From Paris, with Love. Not my choice, BTW.

2) Does Miley Cyrus not see the pattern of child-star-turned-sexy-bad-girl that others have left in her wake? She's heard of Lindsay Lohan, right?

3) What, truly, is the appeal of Silly Bandz?

4) When will we ever get this giant oil spill stopped? Can we? What will the repercussions be? And how in the name of heaven could the oil companies be so blind and foolish and arrogant not to plan for something of this magnitude?

5) Can the next two Harry Potter movies truly live up to the last book?

6) I've often posited that e-books and 3-D television simply a secret plot of the world's opticians and ophthalmologists to cause eye problems and therefore increase the need for corrective lenses. Think about it.

7) Can Andy Murray win Wimbledon, breaking the U.K. champion drought?

8) If I look sad and downcast, look longingly but quickly at someone, and then look down, bite my lip, and look away, can I be cast in the next Twilight movie?

9) When I have kids, I don't care what sort of hovercraft-transportation-screen-within-a-screen crap they have out. They're playing outside with sticks and rocks.

A short list of happy

2010-06-30T10:37:00.006-04:00

1) I made blackberry muffins yesterday based on an old recipe I found from Ouiser, using blackberries from our bushes outside and a few of the reviewer substitutions. They tasted quite delicious. We've had a rainy spring/beginning to summer, but boy oh boy, it's making those berries grow.

2) Penny finally gets her stitches out tomorrow and can take off that stupid Elizabethan collar and play with her buddies. I find it adorable that the one chocolate lab has been looking toward the treeline, waiting for her to emerge because he misses her.

3) My sister and her husband will have officially moved back to Buffalo as of next Thursday.

4) Spending extra time in the evening with T. because we have neither coaching nor teaching responsibilities is lovely.

5) The thought of going to Office Depot with my hyper-organized mother to get myself ready for the upcoming school year makes me absurdly excited. As I believe I have mentioned before, places like Office Depot feel like a teacher's Graceland. We walk in and just stare at the rows of colored pens and files, breathing in the possibilities....

That's all I have for now. Off to the farmer's market to perhaps buy some plants for my long-overdue garden. Yes, I realize how late in the season it is, but who cares? I'll give it a whirl.

Happy Wednesday, dears!

Making fun of technology

2010-06-28T09:57:00.003-04:00

Recently I met a delightful woman I met at a party and we decided we had a funny SNL skit that really could work. We were bashing Twitter and Facebook a bit. Not to get hypocritical, I admit freely that I do have accounts on both. HOWEVER: I do not check Facebook obsessively every ten minutes--I probably look at it every few days. And I don't remember the last time I checked Twitter. I know each has its uses and I have gotten in touch with old friends and even thought about using each medium for teaching. So there.

HOWEVER...we were making a bit of fun of the users who feel the need to type every little bit of mundane crap that goes on in their lives, giving the rest of us the blow by blow. When did this desperate need to tell all and sundry about minute details arise? I must admit I'm in awe and impressed (truly, not ironically) that people make a living doing this. For crying out loud, Dooce [very famous blogger who now has her own show on HGTV] got a friggin' free washing machine when she complained about crummy service via Twitter. That's power.

Now, our skit consisted of this same spewing forth of our daily gems...about ten years ago, when we were still using telephones and e-mail was hitting its heyday as a regular means of communication. Here's a sample, although I think it would be best as a visual. Use your imaginations. All names will be made up-ish.

From: Meg
To: Jo, Beth, Amy, Marmee, Laurie, JBrooke, Sallie
Subject: laundry
Time: 10:03am

Just did four loads of laundry! Will these twins ever get potty trained?

From: Meg
To: Jo, Beth, Amy, Marmee, Laurie, JBrooke, Sallie
Subject: laundry
Time: 10:07am

And now Demi just pulled half the laundry off the line and Daisy just threw up, so you know what that means!

From: Meg
To: Jo, Beth, Amy, Marmee, Laurie, JBrooke, Sallie
Subject: laundry
Time: 10:12am

Now someone's at the door!

From: Sallie
To: Meg
RE: laundry
Time: 10:14am

Ugh, yes, laundry is the worst. That's why the maid does ours. P.S. that's me outside ringing the doorbell.

From: Marmee
To: Meg, Beth, Jo, Amy
RE: laundry
Time: 10:21

Now, Meg, you know that laundry is just part of your wifely duty. Of course I'll help you if you need it, but you should really try to bear the burden cheerfully.
* * *
[phone conversation]

Harry: Hello?
Hermione: Hey, Harry! Just finished Snape's latest essay on wolfsbane potion!
Harry: Um, ok....Is there anything else, Hermione?
Hermione: Nope! Ok, now I'm off to call Ron, Ginny, Padma, Neville, Luna, and everyone else in my contact list to tell them the same thing. [click]

* * *
[voice mail from me to everyone I ever met from Colgate]
"You should really start watching Lie to Me. It's a cool show and it's got Tim Roth, the dude who was in Pulp Fiction robbing the diner, in it. By the way, this is Die Frau*, Class of '99."

Doesn't it seem weird? Is it just me? Why do I really need to tell people that were in my sister's class in grade school about the fact that I have wild strawberries growing in my back yard? (OK, I do, and it's so cool.) How far will the madness go?

Now I have to run and update my Facebook profile for the day. GTG, CU L8R. [shudder]

*not my real name

Making the Effort

2010-06-25T11:19:00.004-04:00

So, I have another school year under my belt, and, in Jeff Probst-Survivor style, I have managed to stay on another year. It's my first fourth year (in a row) anywhere, so that feels pretty damn good. I'm also teaching two CTD classes (blended special ed and regular ed) next year, a nod to my special ed certification, so that also feels extremely gratifying. I know that I've put the work in and the higher-ups have recognized that and given me the chance to put my knowledge into practice--I feel supercharged already. Even now, while I'm still in teaching mode, I'm thinking of plans for the fall, what I'll change, what I'll keep, and it gets me excited. I guess that means I'm in the right profession.

The year had its ups and downs, as is always the case. I got to know some great colleagues and shifted away from others--not always because I chose to, but in life there's always that ebb and flow, and geography plays an enormous role, I think. For better or worse, simple proximity shapes our relationships; at least, I find that to be true. I realize it's not rocket science to see that working (or living) in the same room or across the hall from someone allows a relationship to grow. But what happens after that? After you've been shifted to another room or another floor or another city? Then the real work begins--you have to decide whether you want to stay in contact with that person and how much contact you want to have, and then you choose to make the effort to do so. I think the sad part is when you realize you put more stock in the relationship than the other person did...you want to make the effort but the other person doesn't. No matter how old we get, there's still that feeling of let-down, that secret "Why doesn't s/he like me as much as I like her?" thought. Of course, there's rarely an answer to this question, but then you have to figure out whether to continue making the effort and see if it's returned or simply move on to the friends who want to reciprocate.

It can be exhausting.

Nowadays we have wonderful technology to keep in touch, which narrows that distance. I love that I can communicate with people I love and miss through e-mail, Skype, this blog, and that old stand-by, the phone. It does help. Even then, though, you make the decisions: Whom do I send this e-mail forward to? How many people really want to hear about my latest "big" news? How many people do I care to tell directly? Why didn't she answer my text? I KNOW she got it. When did I become "Christmas card friends" with this person? Do I care or just let that one go?

Again, the exhaustion. It really does mean something--I realized this one time when, in my fifth attempt to get hold of a friend who either 1) rarely returned my calls or 2) tended to have all plans remain soft unless her Option A fell through (therefore making me Option B), T. said to me, "Honey, why are you wasting your time? Call the people who call you back." And the light bulb went on. So obvious yet so not. I took the advice and have felt a lot happier since.

This started out as a post about my school year wrap-up and took a totally different turn, but I think I can get it to circle around: I'm always going to act friendly and nice to those I work with because that's who I am. I don't see a point in blowing anyone off or treating anyone shabbily unless given a serious reason to do so, and even then I would remain civil. But I have to accept that some people will accept my friendship and make the effort and others won't, and that has nothing to do with me, 95% of the time. It's that person's decision. Really, this post has a lot to do with self-esteem, something I recently realized I lack. I have always been my harshest critic, but I think this summer I plan to love myself a bit more and surround myself with others who will help with that.

Suggestions are welcome. I took a self-defense course a few weeks ago (YOU ALL SHOULD DO THIS. IT WAS AWESOME AND SO EMPOWERING!!!!!), and I'm doing a follow-up next month. I'll phone some friends who will phone me back. I'll plan for the fall. I may do more yoga and just let me be me.

But right now the screened-in porch and the rest of my John Irving are calling my name, so I'll stop ruminating and begin enjoying the weekend. You do the same, my dears.

Two quick thoughts and an exclamation

2010-06-22T09:49:00.005-04:00

1) There is little that's more pitiful than watching a fluffy dog stagger around, post-anesthesia, with a large shaved patch on one side of her and an Elizabethan collar (one of those cones) on, catching said collar on doorways. (She's recuperating today--they cleaned her teeth and removed a cyst; hence the surgery.)

2) Jillian Michaels should stay the hell away from yoga. I did her version this morning and she took something that involves stretching and holding poses and strength and...jillianized it. Doing three sun salutations in a row at top speed "because that's the only way you melt those pounds" is not inspiring or pleasant. She also had disdain for yoga speak, preferring not to say phrases such as "bring your heart center to your knee" because it wasn't "English". I'll do the Shred with her all day because then I feel justified in thrashing around to the beat as I try to copy Tami in the corner who's doing the beginner version, sweating, and occasionally gasping obscenities at Jillian and her blazing eyes and killer abs and tattoos. Yoga, not so much.

Here's the exclamation: We have strawberries randomly growing in our yard! I have no idea how they got there; one of us must've chucked a bad one and it took root or something. It is SO COOL. And our blackberries are growing! Yay, wild berries!

One of my favorites

2010-06-17T13:11:00.002-04:00

No words needed. I've always and will always love Kermit and the rest of the Muppets.

So much...

2010-06-15T12:35:00.004-04:00

...to try to compile. But right now I'm at work so I will make this short. I'm grading exam essays. Lots and lots of essays. And as I read them, I'm questioning my own skill as a teacher because some of them are making me cry....

I think the reason I haven't posted as much is because 1) it's the end of the school year, and 2) our laptop has gone on the fritz, so I'm not as motivated to go upstairs away from husband and dog (and cool air) to write. Sorry--I love you all, but I love my comfort more. Is that wrong? No. No, it's not.

However, summer recipes and pictures and stories are soon to come, so stay loyal, dear ones.

This about sums up how I feel today

2010-05-25T08:47:00.004-04:00

It also explains why I haven't posted in a while--I'm trying to avoid such a scenario. And Flickr is annoying me. Anyone know how to upload a bunch of pictures to Blogger all at once, or do I have to do it one at a time?

(click to enlarge)

Simple Joys

2010-05-06T08:11:00.003-04:00

I need to write this quickly because I'm on my way to do several extremely important errands that could be life-changing. Not kidding.

I've got some worries going on because of school budget woes--it's coming out soon, and things can go a few ways. One of those ways may well include massive cuts, and those would probably include me. Instead of worrying about what may or may not happen, instead of freaking, T and I are being proactive and doing what we can in the meantime--we can only control so much, so we're making sure we do and letting the rest come as it will because, honestly, that's all we can do. I mean that in a calm, ride-it-out kind of way.

So last night we ate dinner out on our porch complete with candles, a good bottle of wine we'd been saving for "something phenomenal", and a terrific thunderstorm. We ate, drank the wine, listened to the storm, and played cards all evening with Penny sometimes jumping into our laps.

That's what it's all about.

Pictures

2010-04-28T17:10:00.007-04:00

Here's the deal: Now that it's almost May, the end of the school year will come on with great, hurtling force, so my already-sporadic blogging may well become even more so. I will do my best--truth be told, I'll probably need to post just to keep sanity.

In the meantime, as promised, a random assortment of pictures:

This was what I came down to on my birthday from my dear husband.

Our new indoor-outdoor rug--made completely from recycled plastic bottles! Not kidding--it ROCKS.

The greenie decided to get bags to separate glass from paper from metal. Unfortunately, the trash collectors made off with the orange one, even though I'd put our address on there. They probably just THREW IT AWAY, TOO.

Ohhhh, gracious--this was my sister and BIL's Christmas present to us-- pancake making apparatus!

Banana pancakes! Yeah!

Raisin bread for Grandma--when you turn 95, you get whatever you want. This was what she wanted. :-)

me, Grandma, my aunt Deborah

Oh, and our anniversary dinner--thanks for the help, Yum! We decided instead of going out, we'd cook something we don't usually, so I made stuffing to put in our yummy grilled quail.

Preparing the quail

...grilled with a bit of olive oil and rosemary

...and jumbo shrimp, baby! Oh yes, and a salad, but that wasn't quite picture-worthy

I am an extremely lucky person.

Perspective

2010-04-28T08:55:00.002-04:00

"Real" post coming soon, probably with a lot of pictures. In the meantime, a colleague sent me this e-mail today and, in this constantly upgrading world, I wanted to share it and hear your thoughts:

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade named: BOOK

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it.

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc. Here's how it works:

BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder, which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKs with more information simply use more pages.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.

Unlike other display devices, BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, and it can even be dropped on the floor or stepped on without damage. However, it can become unusable if immersed in water for a significant period of time. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKmarkers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an optional programming tool, the Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. Also, BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

another way to take away from productivity

2010-04-19T19:27:00.002-04:00

If you haven't checked out this blog yet, do so immediately for laughs. You really need the audio for the full effect.

Banana Bread

2010-04-18T10:45:00.005-04:00

Brownish bananas lead me to find this recipe, in case you need one. Apparently it's from Cooking Light 2003 and it's quite tasty. I didn't use a cup of sugar; in my mind, bananas have quite a bit of sugar in them. I used a heaping 1/2 cup. I also only had vanilla yogurt, so I used that and added 1/4 t vanilla extract.

Enjoy!

Banana Bread
MAKES: 14 servings CRISPY RATING: The best recipe I've found.

Ingredients 2 Cups All-purpose Flour
3/4 Teaspoon Baking Soda
1/2 Teaspoon Salt
1 Cup Sugar
1/4 Cup Light Butter, softened
2 Large Eggs
1 1/2 Cups Mashed Bananas, about 3 bananas
1/3 Cup Plain Low-fat Yogurt
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract

1. Preheat oven to 350°. 2. Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt, stirring with a whisk. 3. Place sugar and butter in a large bowl, and beat with a mixer at medium speed until well blended, about 1 minute. Add the eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Add banana, yogurt, and vanilla; beat until blended. 4. Add flour mixture; beat at low speed just until moist. 5. Spoon batter into an 8 1/2 x 4 1/2-inch loaf pan coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350° for 1 hour or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes in pan on a wire rack; remove from pan. Cool completely on wire rack.

Per Serving: 171 Calories; 3g Fat (14.0% calories from fat); 3g Protein; 34g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 33mg Cholesterol; 176mg Sodium. Exchanges: 1 Grain(Starch); 0 Lean Meat; 1/2 Fruit; 0 Non-Fat Milk; 1/2 Fat; 1 Other Carbohydrates

Wow

2010-04-11T08:50:00.003-04:00

The only reason I follow Twitter is because I sometimes run across gems such as this one, linked by The Bloggess:

Instructions Book by Neil Gaiman

Movies, TV, Books

2010-04-10T09:01:00.006-04:00

Just a random assortment of suggestions and non-suggestions. Basically, it's Saturday morning and I'm avoiding cleaning my house and grading. You're welcome.

Books

Last Night in Twisted Riverby John Irving

Is it all right that I'm giving this review and I'm not done with the book? Because I already love it. This may have something to do with the fact that, as a rule, I love John Irving's novels. He's sucked me in right away (although it does begin with a lot of history of the logging industry)--he'll have you going along, thinking, "OK, good plot, memorable characters..." and WHAM! He throws a curve-ball at you. Let me put it this way: I've read ahead in about four places because I can't wait to see what's next.

Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie

Admittedly, I am also not too far through this novel (that I'm reading for my book club. Whoops. J, you've probably finished it AND made copious notes. But you are a human dynamo), but I'm enjoying the lack of completely linear writing. The narrator interjects himself a lot, working two intertwined plots at the same time. I happen to like that. I find his writing here very lyrical in spots. Hopefully it will continue. I'm going to hear Rushdie speak next Friday, so that should be fascinating.

I suppose I should add the caveat that I may like Midnight's Children so much because most of what I've read for our book club I (and others) have not enjoyed, so perhaps part of my feeling toward this book involves sheer relief, but I don't think that's entirely why I recommend it.

Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout

I'm reading this one as my summer reading book for the students, and I find it riveting. It's a collection of short stories all based in one small town in Maine, and they're all intertwined. The main character, Olive, is a retired schoolteacher who's a bit crusty, a bit domineering--I alternate between utterly disliking her and feeling sorry for her as the author drops more and more bits of Olive's life into the stories. It won the Pulitzer Prize, and I can see why.

The cool part is that this year we had the students come in and recommend books (an idea both obvious and innovative), and I believe a few kids recommended this one. Thought-provoking and at times bitterly sad, Olive Kitteridge also has its bright spots. I've truly enjoyed it. Plus it's not terribly long, so it's one you can keep on your bedside table and read a story a night.

TV

If you haven't gotten into LOST yet, well, I don't understand why not. Rent the DVDs and watch it from the beginning and see if you don't get hooked. In a sea of crime and doctor dramas, it has a sometimes confusing but never boring storyline.

I never thought I'd feel sympathy for a serial killer, but we love the Showtime series Dexter. I warn you, it's extremely dark and sometimes unnerving, but we think the acting is great and the plot often blackly humorous. Lots of blood, though (obviously), and lots of swearing, so if that's not something you like, don't go for it. Tell you what--if you could get through and enjoy the movie Fargo, I think it has that same air about it. These are also on DVD.

I just got into Modern Family after hearing three people (whose opinions I trust) rave about it within as many days. We watched it the other night and laughed a lot. I think someone finally hit on a combination of families that are exaggerated in just the right way and got away from the "dumb-husband/shrewish, acerbically witty wife" combo that's been around since The Honeymooners. And I think Ed O'Neill has gotten funnier as he's gotten older-- he's improved on his timing. Honestly, some of it was so hilarious because it seemed familiar.

Movies

I don't have much here except to write that apparently the movie Crank 2: High Voltage
is, according to my husband, "the worst movie I've ever watched all the way through," and he's let himself watch some real stinkers. He said it felt as though a fourteen year-old boy had written the script: bad one-liners, explosions, fast cars, sex, scantily clad women, and bad guys...all to a soundtrack that featured lots of electric guitar. But worse.

I have become convinced that the reason I like the movie Meet Joe Black as much as I do is solely because of the soundtrack by Thomas Newman, who's done the music for American Beauty, Finding Nemo, The Shawshank Redemption, Road to Perdition, and others. I just love how hauntingly beautiful it is. Otherwise, it's not that terrific a movie.

Baz Luhrman's Romeo + Juliet confuses 9th graders because they can't reconcile Elizabethan English with modern scenarios. The men need to be in doublets and tights (although the codpieces are a bit much), not gang-wear, for them to get it.

Honestly, I haven't seen anything in the theater lately, so let me know what's good.

So there's my two cents. Do with it what you will. I'm off to clean and bake cinnamon-raisin bread with my mom for my grandma's 95th birthday tomorrow.

Birthday

2010-03-29T18:05:00.008-04:00

Well, yes, I had a birthday last week. It was lovely and fun and I totally forgot to take any pictures except one of my mom and T, so when he gives me back the camera, I'll post it. But I had a great dinner the Sunday before, cooked specially by T.: a buffalo steak, Israeli couscous, and asparagus; the last two being special favorites. We also had a delicious bottle of wine, the name of which escapes me now, but I will get it. Promise. Wow, no pics and no wine--this post is not informationally sound.... He also got me a gift that's really for both of us, an iPod nano. This means we don't have to argue when we go to the gym about who gets the iPod, so it's the gift that keeps on giving. I had great extended birthday with a delicious dinner at one of my favorite restaurants (The Left Bank, for those who know it) with our parents--just a very nice, low-key time. I even had a colleague bake me cookies, even tastier because they were unexpected. There's something about unexpected cookies. Basically, so many wonderful calls, texts, cards, and e-mails and other acknowledgments of my birthday really made it a great one.

For about 90 seconds, I got a little...negatively pensive this birthday. I'm not where I thought I'd be at this age--I think I figured I'd be a little further along in the whole family path and more secure in my job. And then I thought, Let's see...I am fortunate enough to have an excellent, secure marriage, a nice house, a sweet dog, a fulfilling job, loving family and friends, health, and so much more... so I think that I'm doing quite well. To think anything else is foolish and ignoring all the wonderful parts I have in my life.

So happy birthday, me.

Play Nice

2010-03-20T13:48:00.007-04:00

I've been reading a few of my usual blogs lately and have stumbled upon the mommyblog difficulties that have arisen between a blogger called Chicken Liver and various other bloggers. I realize that I've seen some of her negative comments on blogs before and I always vaguely wondered why she would bother. I now understand she had an entire blog devoted to bashing certain women whom she felt were abusing their power as writers, neglecting their children or families in some way, etc. While I recognize that in this country, everyone has a right to her (or his) own opinion, in reading some of her prior posts, I personally found them to be vitriolic and hateful on an unnecessary level. She verbally attacked these people's children, posted home addresses, and wrote commentary on a level I find unnecessary--and growing.

I just don't understand it. While anyone who posts writing on the Internet has the right to express her feelings because it's all opinion and personal experience, and that person may well have detractors who vehemently disagree with said opinion and personal experience, why make a point of spending time and energy writing down mean comments about other people whom you don't know? I also see this constantly in reading comments on news articles. People are so quick to judge without knowing a whole situation, so quick to put their two cents in in a negative way, writing about how someone is stupid or wrong or racist or Socialist or what-have-you.

Why do it? Perhaps I'm naive, but when did we become so mean? What purpose does it serve?

I think this has come to mind as well because we've had more fights in my school than in times past, and I asked the kids why they thought this was happening. I got a whole host of answers ranging from "they're just being stupid; the fights are pointless" to "he was defending his cousin because someone said bad stuff about her" to "because it stops that person from talking trash about you" to "because they're new and being picked on". (People still pick on the new kid? How cliche'. How lame.) As T said, "I have to respect you for you to be able to offend me." So why bother? When I pointed out T's position, they said, "Yeah, but if you walk away, then you're weak/wimping out". It doesn't surprise me, but it saddens me to hear that perspective.

I never got into fights when I was younger. I didn't see the point, and I stuck to people who were nice and liked me and whom I liked. My rationale is that if you're nice to people, it creates a ripple effect and everyone benefits from it. Finslippy posted about this recently in the vein that we need to recognize that when people act snarky, there may be a reason for it. Perhaps that person's having a bad day and chooses to take it out on the other guy. Perhaps she's just found out some terrible news. Or stayed up all night sick. Who knows? That's the question, isn't it?

I try--I really, really try--to not react too quickly when confronted with meanness or rude people, and I try not to snap at others when I'm in a bad mood myself. When a student snaps at me, it takes a lot for me not to have a knee-jerk response; I've tried to train myself to ask, "Are you ok today? Because the only reason I can think of that you would talk to me that way is that you're having a bad day." Admittedly, my tone of voice ranges from genuine concern to I'm giving you a chance to apologize for acting like a twerp, so be smart and shape up, kid. It tends to work. I've used it on non-students as well, usually taking the less confrontational tone. It still works pretty well. I'm not perfect; I've definitely snapped at folks, but I don't make it my M.O.

I guess what I'm trying to point out is that if we act nice to each other and treat each other kindly, it will continue, just as negativity breeds more of the same. So be kind and reap the benefits. You'll live longer. There's just no point living an angry, bitter, constantly-on-edge life.

Now I'm going to go hug the dog and give my husband a kiss.

2010-03-19T08:59:00.003-04:00

So the reason I haven't blogged in a while is because 1) I don't like blogging at work because I shouldn't and I try to get work done, and 2) when I get home, I want to spend time with DH and Penny, so I forget to update this thing. Whoops. I'll try to be better, 'kay?

Spring is here, and I couldn't be happier. Usually around my area we have 40s and slop, about two-three weeks of actual spring, and then it's May, so this whole sunny and 50s gig is lovely and wonderful. I don't even care about the mud--it means everything's growing, so if I have to keep a towel at the door to wipe off Penny's little paws, so be it. I love to watch her run around unencumbered by crusted-over snow (although watching her fall through to the bottom every few steps as she tried to cross the snowy yard was fairly comical). I especially love the light in the evenings--even if we still had tons of snow, the light would remind me that spring was coming! I prefer to get excited over the little things--they make life so worthwhile and it gives me a lot more happiness overall. I never could understand the point of acting jaded all the time. Where's the pleasure in that?

On a totally different note, my birthday's coming up and I think the only indication that I feel old is that I really do think a lot of the music on the radio these days is noise. I never thought I'd think that, but come on. I won't even share any YouTube videos with you because it's too cruel. I occasionally listen to the songs so if my students reference them and they're inappropriate, I can tell them not to mention the song, but the lyrics most of the time are absolute rot. I do like some of it, I admit, but half the time I think, "I could do this. If I get a beat and some extremely repetitive lyrics or some that make absolutely no sense except that they rhyme, will someone pay me, please?" Silliness, I tell you. Just pure silliness. Now I have to go secretly rock out to Beyonce because I like her.

It's Friday, so enjoy the day. Hopefully I will see my new little niece and nephew soon--born five days before their daddy's birthday, no less! Enjoy the weekend, my dears.

Funny yet thoughtful

2010-03-09T12:05:00.003-05:00

Click to see the whole thing

Senses

2010-03-02T17:29:00.004-05:00

When you live where I live, winter is long. L-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-N-G. We get used to March coming in like a lion and going out like...a lion. Covered in wet slush and the occasional extra foot of snow. Poor lion. This past weekend we got an extra foot or so of the wet, heavy snow. Notice how I toss this off ever so casually because, hey, I'm from WNY. No biggie. Mind you, if it still looks like this 28 days from now, I may weep. Considering once when I was 11 or 12 it snowed IN MAY, I can prepare myself for anything. Or take a side trip to Florida.

Thus I have begun to concentrate on what will not go back: light. I have become a huge fan of the earth's rotation because that makes it so I can still see at 6pm. Let the storms come (please, please go away, winter weather. I am so sick of my boots.)! At least I will be able to use sunlight when stepping into knee-high drifts! (That's not an exaggeration, by the way. Knee. High. Yeah.) When I let the dog out in the morning, I no longer have to turn on the floodlights! Today I even needed sunglasses. Spring is coming.

Then, today as I walked home, I listened to sounds I hadn't heard in a long while: heavy snow falling off the trees as it melted. I haven't yet felt that breeze that really tells me we're done for another year, but I know it's on its way. As an aside, this reminds me of the Laura Ingalls Wilder book The Long Winter, where they all almost froze or starved to death out on the prairies and then, finally, one night, Laura hears the spring wind that means the thaw is coming, and calls out to Pa, "Pa! The Chinook is blowing! The Chinook is blowing! Winter is over!" and they all rejoiced and Pa pulled out his fiddle, which he couldn't play for so long because his fingers were too cold and stiff, and they sang and made merry and baked pies and sewed calico aprons or something like that. Thank you, Grammie, for sending me those books so long ago. How well I remember! In all seriousness, I loved them. And I like having that Long Winter link with Laura.

Every little sign helps, whether it's a few minutes of daylight here or the actual sound of snow melting elsewhere. So in a few weeks, when I put into my Facebook comment, "PA! THE CHINOOK IS BLOWING!", some of you will know what I mean.

Oh yeah, I have a blog (and happy belated Valentine's Day)

2010-02-16T14:04:00.006-05:00

See, I'm trying to concentrate more on getting my work done during the week so I can relax on weekends, so I don't blog a lot during the week. Then I relax on the weekends, and I forget to blog.

However, this week I'm on break, so in between studying for my upcoming certification exam and getting a super fun, 24-hour stomach bug yesterday that had me eating nothing but white rice and feeling wretched on the couch, I thought I'd get some blogging done. I am feeling much better, thank you.

This past weekend we celebrated Valentine's Day by going away for the night to the same B&B that T took me to when we got engaged. We haven't been there since, so considering that was almost four years ago, I took it upon myself to book the room again. Such a nice little place, and it was only 40 minutes away in Lewiston (about as close as you can get to Canada without crossing the border), an historic little town with lots of charm and wineries nearby. Perfect. Plus this time T wasn't incredibly nervous--remember, he was about to propose--and I wasn't incredibly sick. Yes, in case you didn't know, about two days before we went away for my birthday weekend/engagement weekend, I became sicker than I had been in YEARS. This greatly helped T because I wasn't alert enough to notice he was acting odd. Anyway, it was a lovely weekend--plus sneaky T had a dozen roses waiting for me in our room. He does like the flowers. AND he wrote me a little poem. For all of those people out there who say, "Well, wait ten years/twenty years. You won't get that stuff any more," please, please shut up. Let me enjoy my flowers and poem. I'll find out if you're right or not on my ownty-own.

We just had a nice dinner out and then a glorious breakfast, cooked by the owner of the B&B, who's also a friend of ours. It was a perfect little getaway, and Penny was extra glad to see us when we returned. Then the next night we went to women's roller derby, which is a ton of fun. The place is packed when they have their bouts (that's what they call the matches) and I have to say, as I posted on Facebook, there's just something about watching women on roller skates knock each other over that captivates me. Plus we got to cheer for our friend M, as it was her first bout. They all have derby names, like Ivanna Killem and Claire Violence, and they wear fishnets along with their uniforms. It's awesome. If you come to visit me, we'll go.

You know, I've had nice Valentine's Days and crummy ones and non-celebratory ones, and what it all comes down to is that you're with someone you love, no matter whether it's romantic or not. T and I did it up for this one, but we're pretty low-key and would have been happy with just a fire and the couch. For me, it's more the acknowledgment that I'm so fortunate to have those who love me that I can't even believe it, sometimes. I got a card from Mr. Ouiser thanking me for being such a good friend--I almost burst into tears, it was so sweet. My mom sends multiple cards. My dad always sends something from a "secret admirer". So I'm pretty lucky and I want to extend that love to YOU, folks. LOVE!

p.s. I also love the Olympics. And baking cheese bread. Recipe to follow--it is SO EASY.

Memoir in Six Words

2010-02-08T15:53:00.003-05:00

Pretty fun article from NPR about writing a six-word memoir. Smith magazine has compiled a collection of some truly great ones. Here are examples from the article:

Found on Craigslist: table, apartment, fiance.
Becki Lee

Met wife at her bachelorette party.
Eddie Matz

Family portrait: everyone smiles but me.
Ian Baaske

I picked passion. Now I'm poor.
Kathleen E. Whitlock

Normal person becomes psychotic on Twitter.
Robin Slick

Yale at 16, downhill from there.
Anita Kawatra

Here's mine: I live life off the cuff.

It's not great, but it's a decent first try, yes? My one colleague thought we could do it for all the students and fill the English wing of the school. We all liked the idea a lot--we'll see what the kids come up with.... Now you, readers! What can you come up with?

nicknames

2010-01-28T13:17:00.005-05:00

I got nothin'. I'm trying to work a lot harder during the week so I can have my weekends back, so that may cut down on blogging a bit. Right now I'm avoiding grading some rather dismal poetry quizzes, so that's my excuse.

I was going to write a post about names and nicknames, but I got so bored writing it that I couldn't bring myself to have all of you read it. I'm bereft of ideas and I don't like writing about work for obvious reasons of getting fired or sued. I have no fun child stories and I won't write about Penny even though I could go on for pages about how sweet she is and how I can't believe she just had her second birthday. When we first brought her home, she was small enough to wash in the kitchen sink. Whoops, there I go again. Maybe Facebook has ruined my ability to write in more than one to four sentence increments? Gaaaaahh. I'll think of something soon. Here are some more tidbits.

Here's a thought: I found yet another reason to actually like Facebook: An old friend from high school with whom I'd lost touch over ten years ago found me. Just made my week. Plus one of my dad's friends from college found him (OK, I'm not sure if it was through Facebook, but it's still cool) after 38 years of not having seen each other. How awesome is that? I told my mom and she got so excited that all she could say was, "Oh my God!" over and over and began telling me how he'd been her date to some formal and what fraternity he was in. It was very sweet.
I had trouble with a particular student on Thursday and went to talk to my vice principal about it. He doesn't know me well at all, but he sure as hell knows what he's talking about. I gave him the rundown on the boy's behavior, he assessed it correctly and then told me where it probably came from (basic lack of disrespect for authority, no true role models at home), and proceeded to tell me my instincts were correct and that I seemed to be doing exactly what I needed to. He pointed out that we don't just teach our subject; we teach a lot of behavioral traits as well. I've always believed that, but it's great to hear someone who has 40 years of experience confirm my beliefs. He said, "You are not the fixer; you are the doer," meaning I can only do my best and the student will either respond or not. As long as I'm trying my best, that's enough. I can't fix anyone. It's a good rule of thumb to remember.
I don't have a third tidbit. Help me think of one. I feel I should have three; three means a list. Two means you just can't think of anything. Umm...Oh! It's really a question: Why do they keep putting more and more damn doctor shows on TV? Can't we think of a new genre other than ERs and crime dramas? This is why I like LOST and Heroes!

Butternut Squash and Pear Soup

2010-01-24T22:21:00.005-05:00

This is a favorite recipe from Savory and Sweet, specifically from her mother's cookbook. I'm posting it with her permission because it's perfect for fall/winter and it's just so easy and tasty!

- 2 lbs butternut squash, shredded or cut into small cubes and cooked until soft (~15 min. in a pot with 1/2 cu. water on low-medium heat, covered)
- 1 medium onion, diced
- butter or olive oil
- chicken broth/stock
- 1 ripe pear, any kind, diced
- coriander, salt, and pepper to taste (I guess I add about 1 t of coriander, but do it however you'd like)

In a large pot, add butter or olive oil and saute the onion until soft over medium heat. Add the squash and just enough broth to cover everything. Bring to a boil and then simmer for about 15 minutes. Add the pear and spices and puree until smooth. You may eat it hot or cold (I prefer hot). It also freezes well. H, let me know if I forgot anything!

It's so hearty and delicious and one of our favorites--enjoy.

Sundries on Sunday

2010-01-24T21:44:00.005-05:00

I have a few ideas and thoughts that have been rattling around in my head, so here they are.

Every morning I walk to school. It's a mercifully short walk; I never have to worry about traffic or the car not starting. In the winter I do have more likelihood of a broken ankle slipping on ice, but that's it. In those minutes that I walk to school, it's absolutely quiet and it's my time that I don't have to share with anyone. Depending on what time I get out the door, I either walk in the dark of the weak early morning light or I walk with the sunrise. I can listen to the wind, watch the light play on the snow, or just think my thoughts. I gather myself for the day and whatever it will bring.

When T and I cook together, it's always such a pleasure. Even when he can't find the sugar when it's right in front of him, or I squirt ketchup all over the stove, myself, and his socks (as I did tonight), the meal is something we create together and take joy in. It's those small pleasures that make our life together as special as it is.

Yesterday I had to go to an unexpected funeral. A friend of ours had a darkness in himself that he couldn't shake. The service allowed those who loved him to both mourn and celebrate his life in a way that I hadn't expected possible. It just makes me want to hold onto those I love even closer, and for any of my friends or people I know who hold a similar darkness inside yourselves, please know that I and others are closer than you may think.

My sister's getting married in June. Recently she contacted me to ask if I would read at her wedding. We've drifted a lot in the past few years due to geography and life, nobody's fault, really. She asked me because she remembered how we loved books together when we were younger and we still do today. I'd forgotten that we had that tie. It just reminds me to reach out to those I care about--relationships take effort and care if you want them to continue and grow. So I want to make more effort with those who have become "Christmas card friends", if you know what I mean.

Penny loves to look out the window. She especially likes to sit on the pillows of our bed and just watch the world go by. Saturday night I woke in the middle of the night to her having snuck up on those pillows, right above my head, and she sat there like a little canine sentry, watching over us. Even better, she fell asleep on the pillow and woke T up by licking his head. Pets make every day better, don't they?

I know I've mentioned this before, but driving past the General Mills plant when they're making cereal still makes me smile.

Have a good Monday! I'm off to bed.

Your Feel-Good Friday

2010-01-22T07:17:00.004-05:00

If you haven't seen this Pixar short film yet, here it is. If you've already seen it, enjoy it again. I just love the little girl's expressions throughout, especially at the end.

This sounds so familiar

2010-01-19T12:02:00.003-05:00

Click on it to get the whole picture.

Speaking of Poems...

2010-01-18T10:08:00.006-05:00

...have I told you all/do you know about the Poetry 180 website? I bet I have, but I want to mention it again. I just love it because it makes poetry accessible to school children...and adults, frankly. The point is to have schoolchildren read one poem every day school's in session, adding up to 180. Sure, I don't like some of it, but a number of others appeal to me because it's not high-falutin' or impossible to understand. It's a nice change from the lofty poetry that gets shoved down your throat as a student, the poetry you have to analyze and examine and find all the metaphors and symbolism and uuuggghhh. Granted, I still make them do that, to some extent. I kind of have to. The greatest irony was looking at the first poem, by former Poet Laureate (2001) Billy Collins:

Introduction to Poetry

Billy Collins

I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.

...And then we examined it. But not too closely. We looked at the first thirty and I enjoyed "Did I Miss Anything", "The Partial Explanation", and "The Distances", to name a few. Check them out. I often feel daunted by poetry and this website helps me find access to it as well. This is also why I have the kids write "found poetry", which is simply poetry created from words that someone else has written. Again, because I don't consider myself a poet myself, I find creating poetry difficult...but if you give me words to work with, I can come up with something. It's why someone created magnetic poetry for the fridge--that little bit of inspiration. I equated it to Legos (I have to get creative to reach the kids): Even if you all have the same set, what you do with them is quite different. Check out this site to see what others have made up--although I warn you, I have no control over any of the content, so I'm not responsible if any of it is questionable. Some of it's quite lovely. Here's one I came up with that comes from the Amazon.com review for Reading Lolita in Tehran. I promise nothing in terms of quality, but I'll give it a shot:

The Book Group

An inspired blend

A moving testament

with the ability to change and inspire people's lives

Azar Nafisi invited seven of her best female students to attend a weekly study of
great Western literature

banned by the government

forced to meet in secret

They met to talk
share
and burst into color

These books "were not a luxury but a necessity."

Try one yourself!

Oh, the humanity

2010-01-11T08:26:00.008-05:00

I started this post earlier on in the week but didn't get to it until today. In my sophomore class, we were doing a wrap-up of Mark Twain's essay "The Lowest Animal", an extremely ironic essay in which he uses biting humor to point out that, because of man's terrible habits, he should actually be listed as the lowest animal, not the highest. We did a quick run-down of what Twain writes about humans: They're greedy, war-mongering, cruel, the only ones who enslave, the only creature that blushes (or needs to, he points out), hypocritical patriots, narrow-minded of other religions. So I asked the class, Is he right? Are we still this way? Without hesitating, they all said yes. This prompted a follow-up: Can we change this? Is there any hope for humanity?

These kids, at fifteen, resoundingly answered No in my one class. No, they did not think there was hope for humanity; no, they did not think we could change. When I asked why, they responded that things had just become really bad and that they'd simply continue in this way because that had become the way of the world. A few still held out hope, pointing out good deeds and suggestions of small movements that could and did turn into larger ones. I mentioned the Greek story of Pandora, where while she let out all the bad in the world, hope still remained.

What got me most upset--and I told them this-- was that in their fifteen years on earth, those who came before them had given them this sort of mindset; we have apparently handed our youth a world full of despair and cruelty, and they don't see it getting any better. I urgently told them they had to because if they didn't see a vision of a better world, it wouldn't happen. I said they made me even more determined to do what I could to change their vision. I want to bring up something hopeful every day to these kids to prove them wrong. God, I hope I can prove them wrong.

My other class took a more hopeful view, with one student even saying that he believes we all have the ability to make the world a better place--we just have to choose to. This is a student who rarely speaks up in class and seems fairly frustrated with school (as only a fifteen year-old boy can be), so I found it deeply heartening to hear him say this. Some did think humanity was destined for apocalypse, but others pointed out that Twain was looking at the world from his perspective and had seen different things than today's youth had--the students in my classroom simply hadn't had the life experience that Twain had, and perhaps Twain had a darker perspective on the world. They did recognize that all great and good movements start with a small group of dedicated individuals...as do the terrible movements. So it can go both ways.

I realize a lot of the discussion could have come from the fact that it's winter. It was 7:30 in the morning and they weren't quite awake, but were tired and resentful of being at school so early. They're teenagers and prone to melodrama. But it made me think--we of generations past have to help create a world that fifteen year-olds see some good in. At least, I think so. If that makes me naive, so be it. So I leave you with a pretty cool, palindrome-like poem. It gives me hope, and I hope it does for you, too. Do try to read it with the audio to get the full gist.

On a final note, here's a link to various ways you can help those in Haiti:
http://www.google.com/relief/haitiearthquake/