odd and ends

Whoa, so it's been longer than I thought. Every time I go to update, I feel I should do something else, so I don't, but here I am, rectifying my wrongs, I tell you.

Last night T and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. We did so by going to an engagement party for my sister, E (nicknamed C, so I'll refer to her as such) and her fiance, J, and a delicious dinner with my family and family friends. At first I admit I felt a little wary of spending our anniversary focusing on someone else, but then I got out of my own head and realized how special it was to celebrate five years of our marriage by watching my dear sister and future BIL embark on their own, remembering where we were and how we felt, as well as what we've done in such a short span of time. Plus I (just) managed to fit into the dress I wore at our engagement party, so that gave me a great feeling of accomplishment. What made the evening even more notable was that the hosts held the event at the same place T and I had our wedding reception, so we had a lovely time reminiscing, and many of the guests last night also attended our wedding, so the whole night had a real full-circle feel to it.

Recently I listened to Jason Segel talk about his new movie, The Five-Year Engagement, and he made a surprisingly thoughtful point: When people say "I do", too many say it to a moment, not a life. They don't think of all the difficult times they'll go through, the vicissitudes that make up a marriage. I suppose I knew, to some extent, that marriage wouldn't be all rainbows and happy times, but any relationship between two people that is meant to last, legally bound or not, means volumes of work. Anyone who claims a good relationship means you don't have to work at it, I must disagree. But the couple has to work together toward the same end. We do that, and some days, we find it extremely difficult. Yet we know we want a life together, so we plug away, and we talk, and we argue, and we compromise, and here we are, five years later, looking to see what the next fifty-five will bring.

What do you all find has helped you the most in your relationship with your significant other? What's made it work so far?

Summer Wrap-Up

Hi. Hi! How are you? I know I meant to post all the time during the summer and then...summer happened. And I didn't want to go upstairs to my hot computer and post. I'm sorry. Plus my laptop was broken, so I couldn't go somewhere cool to blog. I blame the laptop. Bad, bad laptop.

So I'll give you all a quick re-cap:

• Once a week, I taught Alternative Ed to about five students. These kids for the most part are more academic delinquents than juvenile; they just didn't fit the mold for normal school hours. I found them both trying and endearing. The one kid who didn't do anything now has me for 1st period English. Keep your fingers crossed for him. And me.
• Because I have an entirely new class this semester, I tried to spend 2 hours a day preparing for fall. A lot of this included reading new novels. I did pretty well--it also helps that I have no kids to take care of and that I live three hundred yards away from school, so I did a lot of photocopying over the summer.
  
• On that note, with the help of a lovely doctor-lady, I found out that I do NOT have ADHD but do have deficits in organization and time-management. Case in point: I missed our last appointment because I forgot to put it on my calendar. That, kids, defines irony. Fortunately we did the appointment over the phone. So I've tried very hard to make my Google Calendar my end-all, be-all, updating it and color-coding it and using the Task list like crazy. It's helped tremendously. As a result, for the first time EVER I started the school year today totally ready and not mildly panicked because I had everything labeled, in its proper color folder, and ready to go. I still have a lot to work on, but at least I'm getting tools in place.
• I worked out faithfully and lost no weight, nor do my clothes fit more loosely. So I went on Weight Watchers with T and got my trainer friend A to kick my butt. So far, so good.
  
• This August T and I went to Denver, CO to watch our dear friends get married on the side of a mountain--just a lucky handful of us got to see them perform their own vows (legal only in CO and PA to do that!) and all of us wept at the beauty of the moment, the couple, the scenery, the love. Plus Denver's a cool town to visit AND, as I type this, the newlyweds are headed back to Buffalo to live, so we get them back because, as I told the bride last summer, WE HAVE DIBS. I'm sorry, Bostonian and Tennesseean friends. I CALL 'EM.
• Got into the Stieg Larsson trilogy and cannot stop reading them. I just love Lisbeth Salander. LOVE her.
• Also got into Mad Men. Don Draper is the man you love to despise. He's such a terrific flawed anti-hero. I also pledge here and now to stay far, far away from the Betty Draper Method of Parenting.
• Speaking of parenting, my sister M and her husband C expect a baby in January! Plus they moved back to the B-lo as well, so it's happiness all around.
• I decided to call people and get in touch more, take my own advice and make the effort. So far, it's worked quite well. I plan to keep it that way.
• I finally found and began compiling our wedding pictures. Whoops. Looking through them and remembering the joy of the day, captured so well on film, has brought such joy. I'll try to put together an album soonish.
• OH! T got a new job and loves it. It's at a similar company to his old one but gives him the opportunity to spread his wings a little. I am so, so proud of him.

That's it, really. I never got my garden started, but we have some fun and necessary house projects coming up. T and I decided to become more organized, together, for a lot of reasons, least of which includes less stress for us. Friendships waxed and waned, small decisions we made will have good ripple effects later....really, it's just life that happened. More to come.

T and me in Colorado

School, wedding, summer fun

I feel I've been so out of posting, but then I look and realize it hasn't been THAT long. I've just been insanely busy. My last day of the school year was June 25, a Thursday. My other summer class started on the following Monday and I've been up to my eyeballs in Special Education since then, considering a four week summer class has to squish a semester's worth of information into that time. Plus I have another class on Wednesday nights. It's all fascinating stuff; things I wish I had known years ago as a teacher. I feel out of sheer ignorance that I have too often unfairly glossed over the needs of my students with special needs or even my students who just need extra help, assuming that "someone else" would take care of them, such as the special education teachers. It's not that I don't help my students; I just think I can do more, now, to reach a broader spectrum. Now I know how to work with numbers, see patterns in what errors they make, and have more ability to alter my teaching style to best fit them. I'm very excited about implementing new strategies in the fall.

So yes, that's been my summer so far, with a few nice interludes in between. One of longest-known friends got married last weekend at her family's summer house in Canada. For those of you who don't know, that's not that strange around here to spend the summers across the border; it's right there. With good traffic, I can get there in half an hour. Anyway, she got married at the house and had the reception right in the back yard. Everything went perfectly and we all had a wonderful time. Here are just a few of the pictures I took:

It looked so gorgeous once the sun went down

Bridesmaid L, the bride, and me--we've all been friends since we were tiny

The bride's sister pulled out the boas for us all when they played "Lady Marmalade"

The bride and groom

We also took the weekend to spend it with T's cousin, also in Canada, and Penny spent the weekend at doggie day camp at Pet Smart. Combine that with a visit on Sunday to T's friend's family place out where there's a lot of land and numerous dogs, and we had one tired pup on the way home. Plus she fell into the pond, so she looked and smelled like something that had been following the Grateful Dead all summer, as T said. She was so tired that she slept all the next day, which was what we wanted to do after our fun weekend.

Now my sister's home for a while, the annual Taste of Buffalo is this weekend, and Harry Potter's coming out on Wednesday. Makes for a good summer! But I think this picture sums up summer for me:

M and C's Wedding

What a glorious weekend! Despite the torrential rain, everything went wonderfully. M looked stunning, C made everyone cry during his wedding toast as he talked about how much he loved M (and a special toast to my parents--he choked up; we all got teary), the wedding pies ROCKED and so did the band....

They had a dual ceremony because C is Jewish, so they stood under a chuppah (canopy spread over four poles that symbolizes the home they'll build together), signed a ketubah (Jewish prenuptial agreement, but it's a lot more--it's about pledging your love and faith, etc.), and had this pre-wedding meeting, the name of which escapes me. That part I loved because it came from ancient times when Jacob was married to older sister Leah (who wore a veil so he didn't know) instead of the younger Rachel, whom he'd been promised. Basically, the bride and groom have this meeting to ensure they're marrying the right person! Then they sign the ketubah and the parents all give advice to the B&G. Both of them got to break the glass because they had a feminist rabbi. Yeah!

On the Christian end of things, they had a minister at the ceremony (along with the rabbi) and some beautiful Bible readings. As M pointed out, they wanted to give equal time, but the Jewish faith happens to have more overt customs than the Presbyterians do. As they left, we bridesmaids and groomsmen all lit candles of the guests and the newlyweds left the ceremony in candlelight. Gorgeous.

I've never seen my sister look so entirely happy. Here are just a few of the pictures so you can see what I mean:

flowers--so beautiful!

Getting ready

Mmm...pie...(so delicious!!!)

C's father, M, R

Another good-looking couple (ahem)

First dance (Bonnie Raitt--"Not the Only One")

Crazy on the dance floor

The happy couple!

Sigh...what a happy weekend.

Happy Halloween, folks! I dressed as mid-80s Madonna today and will do so again tomorrow night with T as my roadie. Of course we'll post pics.

Whew! (quick update)

So sorry; I've been busy with getting last-minute lesson plans together and my brother got married this past weekend, so I haven't had a lot of computer time. More work and family time, and enjoy-my-last-days-out-of-school time.

I will post the wedding pictures ASAP. It was a lot of fun and the ceremony included my brother giving his new wife's young (7?) daughter a ring of her own right after he put one on his bride. So sweet. Lots of dancing, lots of sisterliness, good times.

Minor tragedy: As I spent the weekend at my mom's, we came home Monday to find my luxurious tomato plants once again ravaged by persistent deer combined with poor deer netting. They look so sad and barren, although the lower-growing tomatoes survived. I admit it--I burst into tears and then realized (thank you, DH) that as my first year doing this, I would figure a few things out. Thus we've repositioned the netting and put down more dried blood. Back off, Bambi.

I heard an interesting bit on NPR today that has to do with the Bechdel Rule of TV and movies: A cartoonist, she created one that had a woman saying to her friend, "I'll only watch a movie if it has

1. At least two female characters, who ...
2. talk to each other about...
3. something besides a man.

It then went on to point out major shows (Sex and the City, Grey's Anatomy, and even my new fave, The Closer) that do not do this at all. It comes down to who's writing it. The point was that people like to watch shows that mirror actual culture or else they feel disconnected from it. For example, very few shows exist with "fully realized" African American characters. The article then asked people to make up their own rules. One included something I've mentioned before: The commenter won't watch shows with men who act like complete idiots and have no involvement in their kids' lives. I'd add the henpecked, sassy wife--it's straight out of The Honeymooners. We're not in black and white anymore; can't we update the trends here? If I made up a rule, it would run something like this: In a TV show primarily about teens, there will be

1. no central theme having to do with sex or heavy flirting/petting
2. parents who look more than ten years older than their children
3. a setting somewhere other than Pots-of-Money, CA

What about you?

P.S. We will miss you, Don LaFontaine (aka The Voice of just about every promo you've seen in the last 25 years "In a world...")! Here's something to remember you by, even if it's from Geico:

The Anderberry Wedding

I warn you now, I've got a lot of pictures here of people you may not know. However, I believe that since weddings make for joyous occasions, you'll at least appreciate the smiles on everyone's faces. Truly a wonderful time. Note: I will refer to the bride as both S and Scarlet Lily, so don't get confused. Or annoyed.

The wedding took place in Canandaigua, NY, hence the beautiful scenery

A and L in the hotel room looking pretty, as always

L with baby Feathernester. As L said, "Jump in my purse! Nobody will notice!" Such a sweetie!

J and D...awww...

Bride and mother, sharing a moment

Groom B's old band, Tar Beach, having a "reunion". B is playing the violin.

I was playing with settings on my camera; this explains the blurriness. However, M's clear expression sums up the picture.

Three handsome Colgate grads

Me and DH

DH and Scarlet Lily on her last night as a free woman

Height difference? B hugs bridesmaid Z

Stylish in madras

Wine tasting in Canandaigua

This is the "illustration" feature: L enjoying one of her samples

One of the flights of wine at the tasting--delicious!

This is the "retro" feature. I just liked the look of it.

B an hour before the big event!

Scarlet Lily also an hour before the ceremony. Notice how he was totally dressed and set and she is still in street clothes. ;-)

A thunderstorm mercifully passed through about an hour before the ceremony.

The "chapel"
B and his parents

Maid of honor Feathernester

B played "Ave Maria" as the processional. How poignant is that? I tried to keep it together and failed utterly.

S and her parents

The groomsmen

S and B listen to the minister

Reciting their vows

I used the zoom on my camera to get this shot; I just like held hands

Just as I'd gotten it together, bridesmaid G sang a song she had written and created specially for the happy couple. More tears ensued.

Taken from a recent Halloween photo: We were at the 80s Table for dinner

Me being nosy: They were posing for pictures and I once again used my zoom feature to see what I could get.

Feathernester and Scarlet Lily sharing one of many moments of laughter in their long friendship

Please scratch! Ohh...thank you....

Think I can Photoshop the photographer out of the way?

Three lovely ladies

Four lovely ladies (Ah, ah, ah--the Count, anyone?)

Just sweet

A and J

The girls share a moment as S and B have their first dance

Aren't the antler lights kind of fun?

"Look lovingly at each other...."

Me and DH

B, S, her brother M, and her father and stepmother made the wine and bottled it as favors. Impressive!

Brother M and two of S's work colleagues

Scarlet Lily and her father share their father-daughter dance

Ditto B and his mother

Baby Feathernester makes a cameo with the baby sitter

Brother M with his stepmother and dad

DH and J, looking debonair

B and L

The morning after

It's silly, but I still get a kick out of Feathernester and Mr. Feathernester being parents. Clearly they have done an excellent job so far, because L. is one of the happiest babies I've ever seen.

So there you have it! We had a wonderful weekend, and I'm just sorry that I didn't get many pictures of the Ouisers, and that some friends couldn't make it. I don't think I'd ever been to Canandaigua before, and I know I want to go again for a weekend. It's quite close and I think we might need to do some exploring.... Although right now in this era of high gas prices we might also do more "staycations", as a lot of people have had to do. I suppose this just gives us a chance to explore our own city and what it has to offer, right?

But I digress, as I tend to do. Wrap-up: The wedding allowed me to relax, see great and close friends, dance like crazy, and see two people I love get married. What more could I ask for?