Marriage Musings

Today DF and I picked out wedding rings! So exciting—and amazing to pick out jewelry you know you’re going to wear every day for the rest of your life. I really appreciate the idea of the circle because it’s something eternal and somehow complete. As we get closer to the Big Day and it becomes more and more real, I think I’m truly realizing that it’s not just a wedding coming up; it’s a marriage. We’re starting a marriage, a life together. Yesterday my head crew coach told me that he and his wife had been married for thirty years and he thought she was more beautiful today than when he married her, and that each year had been better than the previous. This says a lot coming from a man who acts pretty crusty more than half the time. He also said there would be times when we’d both probably want to just take off, but that you get through those times and it’s worth it.

We have to go for marriage counseling at our church before we get married. From what I hear, it’s nothing terrible: It’s even fun. The first time he’ll make us take those Meyers-Briggs personality tests to see where we’re compatible and where we aren’t. In my warped mind, I immediately wondered, Has he ever gotten two such incompatible people that he looks at the results of the tests and says, “You know, I really think the best thing for you two is to get as far away from each other as possible, because this marriage isn’t going to work….”? Fortunately, I don’t see that happening with me and DF. I just figure we’re going to have great times, we’re going to argue, we’re going to laugh, struggle, cry, make mistakes, learn, grow, and face it all together. Sounds good to me. What works in your current relationship that didn’t in the previous? The short list for me includes trust, respect, and similar values, all components woefully absent from my previous “relationship”. What makes it work for you?

My Secret Vice

I can’t stand most reality shows. I think they’re mindless crap, exploiting the human weaknesses of voyeurism, cruelty, and stupidity. That, and since the first episode of The Real World on MTV (I refuse to link either of those—specifically because of what I’m about to write), the word “reality” has nothing to do with them. I think they should be called taped-live-carefully-controlled-utterly-contrived-total-lack-of-reality shows. TLCCUCTLOR shows. See? It’s too long an acronym. And frankly, when they come up to you asking if you want to be on The Surreal Life, you are one step away from performing on cruise ships, baby. Does anyone remember the episode of the Simpsons when they were in Branson, MO and saw the show “We’re the Celebrities You Thought Were Dead”? Note how many of them have actually been on The Surreal Life. It’s pretty funny…and sad.

However, my secret reality pleasure is…America’s Next Top Model. I love it. I watched the marathon over Christmas and couldn't get enough. All the drama, the flaring tempers, the different shooting locations, the wimps, the bitches, the beauties, the ugly ducklings, the transvestite runway trainers…. I don’t know why I got hooked; maybe because they don’t have the horribly embarrassing videos of the models who didn’t make it, a la American Idol. Is it the girl inside me who secretly loves clothes and makeup and pretty pretty pictures? Is it the voyeur in me who loves to see who they’re going to cut next? It’s not any latent love for Janice Dickinson’s overexposed cleavage. I don’t know why…I just love it.

Now, ‘fess up! You know you love at least one of them. Don't you judge me; you know you TiVo Wife Swap.

I get by with a little help...

Wow, it’s been waaay too long. As usual. And I can’t make this one too long, but just wanted to say a few things. This past weekend I went to the wedding of a good college friend and saw my core group of college friends—we’re unusually tight, I’ve learned. Not everyone has this, this special crew of crazy people who love each other and are loyal and uninhibited and warm and friendly and terrific. It was the first time many of them met DF—next time they see him, he’ll become DH!—and everyone hit it off, which made it extra special for me. The only one missing was Ouiser, and it wasn’t the same without you, honeybunch! Keep growing the last little bit of the girl—any day, now!

I think the real reason I’m writing this is because this week has been really long; it started out with some weird virus (I’ve been told it wasn’t food poisoning by R., who’s been a doctor long enough to know) that started at 2am Monday and chugged along for most of the day. Then I had a tough week at work because I didn’t get my hours of work done on Monday due to being in a fetal position most of the day between sips of Gatorade and bites of Premium crackers. Today was bad for reasons I won’t disclose; suffice to say work was not terrif. But no, my purpose is not to vent: It’s to say that I never would have made it through ANY of this half so well without the love of my friends and family.

My sister sympathized over the phone about my illness for half an hour. DF called me every two. I left a wacky, So I Married an Axe-Murderer-themed voicemail on L.’s phone which made me laugh. My friend D. and I had a well-deserved coffee break last night and she’s going to come over this weekend to help me organize my apartment (and my life). My friend J. sympathized with me today over my crappy day, even though she’s dealing with her own personal stuff and totally didn’t have the time. DF hugged me when I came home and made me dinner. So what can I say? Really, when I think about it, I didn’t have as bad a week as previously supposed. Plus I found out this weekend more people than I thought read my blog, so, hello to all of you! And thanks for being there—my life wouldn’t be nearly as full without you.