Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Marriage Musings

Today DF and I picked out wedding rings! So exciting—and amazing to pick out jewelry you know you’re going to wear every day for the rest of your life. I really appreciate the idea of the circle because it’s something eternal and somehow complete. As we get closer to the Big Day and it becomes more and more real, I think I’m truly realizing that it’s not just a wedding coming up; it’s a marriage. We’re starting a marriage, a life together. Yesterday my head crew coach told me that he and his wife had been married for thirty years and he thought she was more beautiful today than when he married her, and that each year had been better than the previous. This says a lot coming from a man who acts pretty crusty more than half the time. He also said there would be times when we’d both probably want to just take off, but that you get through those times and it’s worth it.

We have to go for marriage counseling at our church before we get married. From what I hear, it’s nothing terrible: It’s even fun. The first time he’ll make us take those Meyers-Briggs personality tests to see where we’re compatible and where we aren’t. In my warped mind, I immediately wondered, Has he ever gotten two such incompatible people that he looks at the results of the tests and says, “You know, I really think the best thing for you two is to get as far away from each other as possible, because this marriage isn’t going to work….”? Fortunately, I don’t see that happening with me and DF. I just figure we’re going to have great times, we’re going to argue, we’re going to laugh, struggle, cry, make mistakes, learn, grow, and face it all together. Sounds good to me. What works in your current relationship that didn’t in the previous? The short list for me includes trust, respect, and similar values, all components woefully absent from my previous “relationship”. What makes it work for you?


Anonymous said...

No doubt you'll be very happy together. You look cute, if that's any help :)
You know it'll all be fine as long as he doesn't say: "I, DF, take you, Rachel...."

Ouiser said...

Aaaaghh, the personality test and the marriage counseling. We had to do that, too. In fact, I think we were accused of cheating on the personality test. We were then excused from the rest of counseling. Waste of everyone's time??

As for your crew coach's opinion, I'm pretty much with him in that I think that being married has been totally awesome, and I think that M and I work for all the reasons that you mentioned plus one: laughter. Neither of is is capable of staying angry with the other because we can't help but laugh at each other constantly. So, for us, laughter is a major part of the equation.

I'm glad that you're getting so excited about the wedding. I know that we're excited about being there.