Last year The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother came out, talking about how Asian mothers are superior and turn out superior children. All about discipline and no TV and threatening to withhold food until piano pieces are learned, no playdates, calling children names and the like to get them to perform and do their best. I don't personally agree with this method, but I see some of the merits, pushing children to do their best and not let them give up easily...within reason. Recently The Today Show had a woman on who's written a new book: Bringing up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting. This woman talks about the fact that French parents give their children quite a bit of freedom with a few strict rules that must be obeyed but don't cater to their children or insist they have a million and one lessons to do after school, that sort of thing. According to the author, French children are better behaved than the average American children.
Couple this with an article I read asking if we need an end-all, be-all book on parenting. Is there such a thing? I seriously doubt it. Why do we need to copy other countries' parenting methods? I see that each has its merits, but there's no magic bullet. You just have to do your best, use common sense, and, in my opinion, raise your children to be respectful, self-sufficient, and eager to learn and do all they can, to be the best versions of themselves possible. However, hopefully I can teach my own son that along the way he'll make lots of mistakes, and that's all right as well. I want him to be happy and kind, to try his best at what he attempts and see when persistence changes to sheer stubbornness. So I guess a dash of Tiger Mother, a pinch of French parenting, a tablespoon or two of John Rosemond for common sense, and my own instincts will have to do. I think that'll work out, don't you?
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Yummy yummy burgers
This is how good these burgers were: I'm taking time on a Friday night to blog about them. Yes, because it cuts into my ca-ray-zay Friday night scheme of...going to bed in 20 minutes. Anyway.
Got these in my latest Natural Health: The article has healthy alternatives to fast food favorites. Some of them looked a bit intense, but I figured I'd go for the burgers. We did not add avocado, but I bet it would add good flavor.
I can't believe I didn't post that one--sure, Martha Stewart makes good mac and cheese, but I felt this one blew all others out of the water. Definitely time-intensive and requires some slightly expensive cheese, but so worth it. By the way, don't substitute regular macaroni. The cavatappi works much better. It's also not super creamy/cheesy, so if you prefer that, you might have to adjust.
The cheeseburgers also take about 20-25 minutes to put together, and you need a food processor. I used our giant George Forman to cook them, but I think you could cook the burgers perfectly well in a frying pan or however you choose. I also warn you: the recipe calls for chilis in adobo and even seeded, they packed a bit of a heat wallop for anyone who has trouble with spice. However, I felt they didn't stretch the budget and had so much flavor packed in--definitely a new Frau Family Favorite.
Got these in my latest Natural Health: The article has healthy alternatives to fast food favorites. Some of them looked a bit intense, but I figured I'd go for the burgers. We did not add avocado, but I bet it would add good flavor.
They tasted DELICIOUS. T raved about them as one of his new all-time favorites, beating out the decadent macaroni and cheese makeover from Cooking Light.
I can't believe I didn't post that one--sure, Martha Stewart makes good mac and cheese, but I felt this one blew all others out of the water. Definitely time-intensive and requires some slightly expensive cheese, but so worth it. By the way, don't substitute regular macaroni. The cavatappi works much better. It's also not super creamy/cheesy, so if you prefer that, you might have to adjust.
The cheeseburgers also take about 20-25 minutes to put together, and you need a food processor. I used our giant George Forman to cook them, but I think you could cook the burgers perfectly well in a frying pan or however you choose. I also warn you: the recipe calls for chilis in adobo and even seeded, they packed a bit of a heat wallop for anyone who has trouble with spice. However, I felt they didn't stretch the budget and had so much flavor packed in--definitely a new Frau Family Favorite.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Just a few things
First of all, J is 30 weeks old today. WHAT? He'll be seven months before I know it!
I know I haven't blogged a lot...every time I mean to, I feel I should be doing something else, like cleaning, laundry, or job hunting. But I think a few minutes will be ok. Still hunting, although we've got our routines down now, and it'll be hard to give that up, I admit, but having another full paycheck will certainly make things easier.
I think I'll just share a few sites I've gotten wind of to help you folks out:
Get Human is one of those lovely little sites that lets you actually speak to a human faster instead of dealing with endless menus and automated voices. You input the company and it'll give you directions to get you to a human faster. I used this morning to get to a person at the NY Department of Labor. It took a wee bit of time, but certainly not as long as last time I tried...and got cut off.
Food Gawker has many recipes and beautiful pictures to boot. If I had my way, I would have an endless food budget and plenty of time to cook all of these recipes.
I know I haven't blogged a lot...every time I mean to, I feel I should be doing something else, like cleaning, laundry, or job hunting. But I think a few minutes will be ok. Still hunting, although we've got our routines down now, and it'll be hard to give that up, I admit, but having another full paycheck will certainly make things easier.
I think I'll just share a few sites I've gotten wind of to help you folks out:
Get Human is one of those lovely little sites that lets you actually speak to a human faster instead of dealing with endless menus and automated voices. You input the company and it'll give you directions to get you to a human faster. I used this morning to get to a person at the NY Department of Labor. It took a wee bit of time, but certainly not as long as last time I tried...and got cut off.
Food Gawker has many recipes and beautiful pictures to boot. If I had my way, I would have an endless food budget and plenty of time to cook all of these recipes.
www.canyoustayfordinner.com (another food blog)
This one just has terrific recipes as well, all created by someone who lost tons of weight and is a foodie to boot. I like the way she writes about food.
Lots and lots of bargains for kids and mom. Check it regularly to get good deals.
That's about all I've got right now. J gets closer to crawling every day...fortunately we have a large, six-panel baby gate we got for Penny that we can use to corral him. I know we'll need it, because this kid wants to cruise.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Reflections on a Year
All right, I'll do it: I'll review 2011 for myself.
January started out (no, I am NOT going to through this month by month; January had a lot going on, as you'll read) pretty eventful: My sister had her beautiful daughter, we found out we were having a boy (on the same day! Although I'll allow that C's birth trumped J's revealed gender), and my youngest sister got engaged. Oh, and we got a new-to-us car.
As the year moved on, I became more pregnant and more worried about how the local budget would affect my job. I home-schooled an amazing boy and got to give him some small semblance of a normal life before he succumbed to cancer just before Christmas. We repainted the guest room to become the baby's room, got furniture and many lovely gifts from many lovely people, added a few new fixtures and paint colors to other parts of the house, and put car seat bases in. I fell more in love with my husband and my new niece, gained a new respect for my sister as she tried on motherhood for the first time, and found out my other sister would have a baby in November. I also gained a new appreciation for my own mother and mother-in-law, especially, as they guided me through those first few months with J. My friend M taught me how to change a boy's diaper without getting peed on...though J still manages to get control of the hose every now and then.
Well, budget came through, J was born and T and I became parents, and five days after that, I lost my job. This led to scrambling desperately for health insurance, and T took on that burden alone, as I was in no condition to do anything but nurse and not walk up and down stairs. I looked for jobs every day, went on a few interviews, and came to realize a few things:
1) Once fall hit, I realized that while unemployment was (and is) scary, I would never, ever have had this time otherwise. I would've gone back to work with J at eight weeks old in day care, and now he's over six months and I have spent almost every day getting to know him and see him grow and change. I've used the word "serendipitous" more than I ever thought I would. I may never have this chance again to spend time with my child, and I'm grateful for every day of it.
2) Perhaps I need to/want to do something other than teaching. I love the classroom, but my former place of employment never felt quite right, as I've written about before. The combination of lack of teaching positions available, the knowledge that the 2012-2013 budgets for schools will tighten even more, and the sheer necessity to look at my other skills and talents has led me to believe perhaps I could do something different yet still connected to what I love. Still waiting to see how that turns out, fingers crossed, and I have a few leads that I will pursue until someone shakes my hand and says, "Welcome aboard". I have to, financially, and I want to, personally.
3) You can still manage to do a lot with less and remain happy. Forced perspective is still perspective.
So motherhood has been incredible and stressful and scary and wonderful. I've made new friends, caught up with old ones, and worked hard on keeping those people in my life who enrich it and dropping those who don't. I've gone through peaks and valleys with my husband and realized even more than before that I'm grateful every day to walk through life side by side. Friends of mine expanded their own families and allowed me to celebrate other milestones with them. I'd say I feel fortunate that 2011 has, for me, been the best year of my life so far. We'll see what 2012 brings.
Resolutions? Oh, I don't know...I feel sometimes they're these grand ideas that make us feel bad when they don't come to fruition. But I think it's good to have goals, so I'll make a few:
January started out (no, I am NOT going to through this month by month; January had a lot going on, as you'll read) pretty eventful: My sister had her beautiful daughter, we found out we were having a boy (on the same day! Although I'll allow that C's birth trumped J's revealed gender), and my youngest sister got engaged. Oh, and we got a new-to-us car.
As the year moved on, I became more pregnant and more worried about how the local budget would affect my job. I home-schooled an amazing boy and got to give him some small semblance of a normal life before he succumbed to cancer just before Christmas. We repainted the guest room to become the baby's room, got furniture and many lovely gifts from many lovely people, added a few new fixtures and paint colors to other parts of the house, and put car seat bases in. I fell more in love with my husband and my new niece, gained a new respect for my sister as she tried on motherhood for the first time, and found out my other sister would have a baby in November. I also gained a new appreciation for my own mother and mother-in-law, especially, as they guided me through those first few months with J. My friend M taught me how to change a boy's diaper without getting peed on...though J still manages to get control of the hose every now and then.
Well, budget came through, J was born and T and I became parents, and five days after that, I lost my job. This led to scrambling desperately for health insurance, and T took on that burden alone, as I was in no condition to do anything but nurse and not walk up and down stairs. I looked for jobs every day, went on a few interviews, and came to realize a few things:
1) Once fall hit, I realized that while unemployment was (and is) scary, I would never, ever have had this time otherwise. I would've gone back to work with J at eight weeks old in day care, and now he's over six months and I have spent almost every day getting to know him and see him grow and change. I've used the word "serendipitous" more than I ever thought I would. I may never have this chance again to spend time with my child, and I'm grateful for every day of it.
2) Perhaps I need to/want to do something other than teaching. I love the classroom, but my former place of employment never felt quite right, as I've written about before. The combination of lack of teaching positions available, the knowledge that the 2012-2013 budgets for schools will tighten even more, and the sheer necessity to look at my other skills and talents has led me to believe perhaps I could do something different yet still connected to what I love. Still waiting to see how that turns out, fingers crossed, and I have a few leads that I will pursue until someone shakes my hand and says, "Welcome aboard". I have to, financially, and I want to, personally.
3) You can still manage to do a lot with less and remain happy. Forced perspective is still perspective.
So motherhood has been incredible and stressful and scary and wonderful. I've made new friends, caught up with old ones, and worked hard on keeping those people in my life who enrich it and dropping those who don't. I've gone through peaks and valleys with my husband and realized even more than before that I'm grateful every day to walk through life side by side. Friends of mine expanded their own families and allowed me to celebrate other milestones with them. I'd say I feel fortunate that 2011 has, for me, been the best year of my life so far. We'll see what 2012 brings.
Resolutions? Oh, I don't know...I feel sometimes they're these grand ideas that make us feel bad when they don't come to fruition. But I think it's good to have goals, so I'll make a few:
- Read as many of the books on my shelf as possible. I've had unread books there for a year or more.
- Get a job and do it to my best ability
- Stay healthy in terms of exercise and eating, but allow myself rest and treats, too
- Continue making my marriage a partnership with my best friend
- Be as good a mother to J as possible while accepting the fact that I'll have bad days
- Do things that honestly enrich my life. Most of these don't include anything electronic.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
As seen in my house
Have you ever seen the advertisements for that space-saving spice rack? The one that takes up four inches of space?
T and I saw that one evening and I said, "You know, our spices are such a mess, I'm almost tempted to call and order that," without any irony. We have these lazy Susans of spices that predate our move to our house [shudder] and I just never got around to cleaning them out because who takes time to clean out the spice rack? Not me. It certainly didn't rank high on the list of priorities, even though I knew it would make life better.
Guess what T got me for Christmas?
Before:
 |
| I don't even have a picture of the other, two-tiered lazy Susan rack. It was too far back, with lots of clutter in front of it. |
After:
And Julie Andrews and a host of angels sang in the background.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Christmas!
Well, I must say without prejudice that J was a STAR this Christmas. If you have read this blog with any regularity, you know that December 25 involves The Great Christmas Road Trip because we have so many people to see, and J did very well with all the traveling. On the one hand, I feel so fortunate that we have so many relatives to spend time with and love. On the other hand, spending time in the car going from place to place to place gets a bit tedious. But I try to focus on the former, not the latter. In a few years J will want to stay home to play with his toys, anyway, so that will all change.
We went to my stepdad's for Christmas Eve cocktails. Dad gave J his little Christmas outfit, complete with reindeer footies:
We went to my stepdad's for Christmas Eve cocktails. Dad gave J his little Christmas outfit, complete with reindeer footies:
Sister E and niece C...J is finally reaching back!
Then we went to T's mother's for dinner. She got to feed J his dinner:
Note the footies and Dad's "classic Grandma picture!" expression
On Christmas morning we opened our own presents. No pictures of us unkempt in our jammies, sorry: T made breakfast and I whipped together dough because when you give the gift of bread, it helps to have it fresh. This made for a slightly hectic morning, although we had fun with our stockings and gifts, as usual. Then we zipped over to T's father's house:
Grandpa loved the plaid shirt...he owns many just like it.
Next, we traveled to Batavia to see my grandmother and my dad. Grandma adores her great-grandmother status, as you can see:
How terrific is this wrapping paper? I've tried not to use it anymore in my green living pursuits, but I'd use this in a heartbeat.
Happy Papa and little J
Hooray for this Christmas thing!
Our last stop before heading home was my mother's with my sisters and their families, along with another sumptuous meal.
T with the two kids
Five men and a baby
(I'll have to post the women version of this once someone sends it to me!)
Home again, home again, jiggety jig by 10:45...a long but lovely Christmas. Hope all of you had equally nice holidays!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Boys
Well, J has grown in leaps and bounds...almost crawling, almost sitting up, close to teething. Today he reached the fabulous milestone of ratcheting his cries up to a scream when he's really hungry. It's that cry you cringe at when you hear it in the grocery store and promptly turn your cart around and head toward...anywhere else. But now he has a few new toys from Santa (aka grandparents), so life isn't too bad (as long as milk comes rightnowimmediatelyfasterSCREAM). I'm pretty excited for his first Christmas and all the ensuing pictures. He got a sweet little Christmas outfit from my dad and stepmom, so that will enhance the cuteness. Not that I'm biased.
On a more sober note, yesterday I found out the boy I home-tutored for most of the last school year passed away on Monday. He had a rare form of cancer and his family viewed his survival as a long shot, but boy did they try. Kid went through surgeries, chemo, you name it. I got him through ninth grade English... we met once a week. We did a lot of talking about non-English related topics, mostly movies, books, Buffalo sports teams, and the annoyance of younger siblings. Andrew was mature for his age and handled his illness with a lot of humor and calm. A huge sports fan, he collected all sorts of memorabilia, and foundations such as Carly's Kids and Make a Wish helped him get a few more, plus visits and introductions to many of his sports heroes. When I heard he'd died, I broke down because...why? Why a teenage boy? Why right before Christmas? And then I thought about it...this last surgery was a long shot at best. It may sound terrible, but now he doesn't have to suffer chemo or the many side effects, no more colostomy bags, no more weight loss or worrying that a simple cold would become not so simple. T also pointed out to me that I had the privilege of giving him a normal spot in his life, even if that normalcy involved me chiding him about missed homework deadlines and making him write essays. I'm so glad I got to work with him and get to know him. It's one of the privileges of teaching.
But I've also begun to realize that I can do that sort of helping elsewhere, too, outside of that profession. The idea of getting out of teaching for a while has rolled around in my subconscious for a few months now. I'm meeting tomorrow with a colleague of my dad's who may be able to connect me with others who can help me find work. I'm cautiously optimistic...the unemployment's running out relatively soon, and I have to have something under my belt. In the meantime, I can remember Andrew and hug my own precious, healthy boy. If I don't get to this site before Sunday, merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate it (and happy Hanukkah right now!) and--J is kind of crawling as I write this. I'm going to go watch that little miracle.
Love to all of you.
On a more sober note, yesterday I found out the boy I home-tutored for most of the last school year passed away on Monday. He had a rare form of cancer and his family viewed his survival as a long shot, but boy did they try. Kid went through surgeries, chemo, you name it. I got him through ninth grade English... we met once a week. We did a lot of talking about non-English related topics, mostly movies, books, Buffalo sports teams, and the annoyance of younger siblings. Andrew was mature for his age and handled his illness with a lot of humor and calm. A huge sports fan, he collected all sorts of memorabilia, and foundations such as Carly's Kids and Make a Wish helped him get a few more, plus visits and introductions to many of his sports heroes. When I heard he'd died, I broke down because...why? Why a teenage boy? Why right before Christmas? And then I thought about it...this last surgery was a long shot at best. It may sound terrible, but now he doesn't have to suffer chemo or the many side effects, no more colostomy bags, no more weight loss or worrying that a simple cold would become not so simple. T also pointed out to me that I had the privilege of giving him a normal spot in his life, even if that normalcy involved me chiding him about missed homework deadlines and making him write essays. I'm so glad I got to work with him and get to know him. It's one of the privileges of teaching.
But I've also begun to realize that I can do that sort of helping elsewhere, too, outside of that profession. The idea of getting out of teaching for a while has rolled around in my subconscious for a few months now. I'm meeting tomorrow with a colleague of my dad's who may be able to connect me with others who can help me find work. I'm cautiously optimistic...the unemployment's running out relatively soon, and I have to have something under my belt. In the meantime, I can remember Andrew and hug my own precious, healthy boy. If I don't get to this site before Sunday, merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate it (and happy Hanukkah right now!) and--J is kind of crawling as I write this. I'm going to go watch that little miracle.
Love to all of you.
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