Friday, May 27, 2011

Niiiiiiice

I just saw my new favorite clip having to do with etiquette that has gone by the wayside while watching Law and Order: Criminal Intent:

Suspect: [says something mildly unhelpful]
Det. Goren:  [asks question]
Suspect: [begins texting while Goren speaks to him]
Goren: I'm sorry, are you texting us?  Because we're the ones talking to you right now. 

BAM.  I am totally using that. I get very fussy about phone manners and lack thereof, although I admit I did walk through Target today talking to my mom.  However, I didn't have a personal conversation about anything embarrassing.  Is that better or just hypocritical?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Getting the lead out

I've been pondering something lately that's always nagged me slightly, even though I know it shouldn't.  I've been at my job for the last four years, and I try to be friendly with everyone because that's just who I am.  I have people I've become friendly with, but I've never managed to find anyone I truly click with, and I don't know why.  While I realize this is the insecure part of me that I've always tried to whittle away, and I know I'm a good person and friend, that small part of me wonders why it hasn't happened.  And it makes me wonder if I'm in the right place.  Do I really want to stay somewhere where I'm just considered a "nice person" but where I'm never entirely going to fit?  Should that matter?  I like many of the people I work with, and they're dedicated to their students and their jobs in a way I genuinely respect.  I have good bosses and a good relationship with my students.  So what's the problem, really? 

I think it's that part of me sees my colleagues forming friendships and having inside jokes and conversations I wish I had at work.  I have wonderful friends outside of work who support me and make my life amazing.  Yet, perhaps because of the nature of the job, having a buddy seems helpful and a little necessary.  I don't know where I'm going with this at all; I just thought I'd finally give voice to it, get it out.  It's the end of the school year, I'm a scant 25 days away from my due date, I'm tired and hot, and my defenses are down.  But I'm not sorry I wrote this. 

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Beginnings

Today marks T's and my seven year re-meet-iversary. Yeah, we mark it, or at least I do. The date is memorable because it's also my sister A's birthday (Happy birthday!), so I'm not a total emotional girlie girl for remembering; just sort of.

But truly...it marked the night I met my husband-to-be, so I think it's pretty great, even though he recognized me immediately and I had to play the Mental Rolodex game of "HOW do I know this guy?" NOTE: Using the "How's your family?" line worked. Hey--we hadn't seen each other in fourteen years and his facial recall is unparalleled. Anyway, we had a date a week later, then more dates, and here we are, 27 scant days away from parenthood. I will admit I knew right away that we had something good; I'd never felt so immediately comfortable with anyone. The fact that we'd attended the same grade school helped--we didn't have to play the getting-to-know-you game quite as much as other folks do, but it was way more than that. We just...fit. He quickly became someone who made me realize that I'm a better person with him than without him...and I mean that in the least clingy, co-dependent way.

I should've written all this on our anniversary a month ago, but I don't think it would have properly included the friendship we forged leading up to our marriage. Truly, that's the important part--that's the foundation. And we work damned hard at it every day, making sure we treat each other honestly and kindly, supporting each other with a hug, a silly e-mail, or a good kick in the butt as needed. As I've gone through these last few months of my life, I realize even more how much I love T and what a wonderful father he'll be. If, by some miracle, baby J is born on his due date, it'll be just in time for Father's Day, and I can't think of anything more fitting.

So, dearest T, happy re-meet-iversary and I love you more than I can begin to express.

One step closer to being ready

Car seat base and mirror (no, it's not a TV) are installed in both cars!
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Monday, May 16, 2011

Latest bump

Well, this past weekend I nested like crazy: I baked oatmeal bread AND banana snack cake, and washed a bunch of baby clothes and my mom and sister M (and baby C--four months tomorrow!) helped me fold and organize. We now have drawers filled with clothes and blankets, and I figured out how to work the diaper genie (after pulling out too much of the bag at first), so I think I'm set. Oh wait...we need pacifiers. And I should probably figure out how the hell to actually use the swaddler stuff before I have an unhappy baby who desperately needs to be made into a baby mummy. We also got a chest freezer for the basement off Craig's List for the food we will be making and hopefully receiving that we can simply take out, thaw, and enjoy during the first few weeks with junior. Mom's already contributed lasagna.

I've also started packing a bag for the hospital and printed my study guides for my classes early. This way, Murphy's Law will hopefully ensure that I don't deliver early. Fingers crossed...I just need to get through the 10th, which will give me time to finish grading exams and interview AGAIN for my position for next year (again, it's like Survivor--will I get to stay on the island for another go-around? But hey--if it means a job and uninterrupted health care, I will jump through any hoop they want). So again, here's to hoping.

Anyway, with a little less than five weeks to go, I thought pictures were in order:

No, that's not a basketball.


Monday, May 9, 2011

Mothering

I had my first sort-of Mother's Day yesterday, and it got me thinking. With my own impending motherhood a scant six weeks away, it becomes more real every day. I (and T) will be fully responsible for this tiny little life, utterly dependent upon me for everything: food, clothing, evacuating, cleaning, warmth, light, you name it. I find this all both daunting and thrilling. He will change my entire life, and no matter how ready or unready I feel, he's on his way. Oh, I've had beautiful showers, I'm watching the videos, and I'm getting lots of advice, but in the end, he's ours to do our best with. And I think we'll do a good job, I really do.

I have had the good fortune of having various mother figures in my life from my own dear mother to friends who have acted as moms-away-from-home. I don't think I would be the person I am today without their guidance, advice, love, friendship, and occasional kicks in the butt.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Quick One...sort of

I know, I owe lots of pictures and stuff but I am on a mission to not be my usual, great-intention-crummy-follow-through self. Any of you who know me well know what I mean. You look at me fondly and shake your head and smile wryly because you know the Frau gets crazy excited about certain things, does them for a while, and then puts them in a corner to collect dust, either literally or figuratively.

I'm not this way about everything, but it's one of my least favorite qualities about myself, and I'm trying not to be that way because it frustrates me AND my husband and probably others. The rain barrel I bought? Fills up and overflows because I don't use it for the garden I never put together last summer...although I have hope that if we plant it closer to the house this year, I won't need 200ft of hose to even use the dumb rain barrel. Efforts to green up my life? Meh, some stayed, some didn't. Elliptical machine upstairs so I'd use it more? Classic clothes rack.

One of my other qualities is to dump all over myself about bad habits, so I won't go on; I wanted this to be more of a recognition of my faults in an attempt to heighten awareness. For example, I got half my thank-you notes from my beautiful baby shower done IMMEDIATELY and I'm almost done with the rest. But if I don't finish them this week, well.... But I KNOW this. So that helps.

Anyway, I really wanted to write this because I read an article about procrastination this morning in Real Simple and it suggested a great way to avoid the "I'll just surf the Net for ten minutes" joke that turns into hours of wasted time: A free add-on called LeechBlock for Firefox. It allows you to list the sites you waste the most time on them, and it literally blocks them for whatever amount of time you specify. For example, I blocked Blogger (and Facebook, Gmail, Slate.com....) this morning so I could get projects graded from 9-1pm. Even the sheer act of doing this caused me to focus better. There's also Rescue Time, a site that tracks what you actually do on the Internet and then graphs where and how you spend your time--an eye-opener that can show you just how long you spend and how often you go to certain sites.

On that note, I'm getting off Blogger and making myself a well-earned grilled cheese and tomato sandwich and then continuing to grade on the newly restored back porch, where no evil technology can lure me away. Hooray for spring!