odd and ends

Whoa, so it's been longer than I thought. Every time I go to update, I feel I should do something else, so I don't, but here I am, rectifying my wrongs, I tell you.

Last night T and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. We did so by going to an engagement party for my sister, E (nicknamed C, so I'll refer to her as such) and her fiance, J, and a delicious dinner with my family and family friends. At first I admit I felt a little wary of spending our anniversary focusing on someone else, but then I got out of my own head and realized how special it was to celebrate five years of our marriage by watching my dear sister and future BIL embark on their own, remembering where we were and how we felt, as well as what we've done in such a short span of time. Plus I (just) managed to fit into the dress I wore at our engagement party, so that gave me a great feeling of accomplishment. What made the evening even more notable was that the hosts held the event at the same place T and I had our wedding reception, so we had a lovely time reminiscing, and many of the guests last night also attended our wedding, so the whole night had a real full-circle feel to it.

Recently I listened to Jason Segel talk about his new movie, The Five-Year Engagement, and he made a surprisingly thoughtful point: When people say "I do", too many say it to a moment, not a life. They don't think of all the difficult times they'll go through, the vicissitudes that make up a marriage. I suppose I knew, to some extent, that marriage wouldn't be all rainbows and happy times, but any relationship between two people that is meant to last, legally bound or not, means volumes of work. Anyone who claims a good relationship means you don't have to work at it, I must disagree. But the couple has to work together toward the same end. We do that, and some days, we find it extremely difficult. Yet we know we want a life together, so we plug away, and we talk, and we argue, and we compromise, and here we are, five years later, looking to see what the next fifty-five will bring.

What do you all find has helped you the most in your relationship with your significant other? What's made it work so far?