Proud

I apologize for the unintentional hiatus--my friend Rachel sent me a sweet message asking how I was doing and mentioned I hadn't updated the ol' blog in a while, and I thought I'd get on it. It actually coincided with a recent thought that I, indeed, had something I felt like blogging about. Life has moved at a rather hectic pace lately, and I just didn't feel inspired/like I had the time to update, but I realized I have some very worthwhile points to throw out to my readers.

Pride has so many layers. Religion/society/your mother/yourself all tell you not to be prideful in terms of boasting. It goeth before a fall and all that. I think that's mostly with tooting your own horn--and if you've done something that's truly terrific and worthwhile, toot away. That's the other side of the coin: Pride gets such a bad rap that too many of us duck our heads and stay quiet about our accomplishments. Today I want to gush about my boys because I think they deserve it. I'm going to play the role of proud wife and mama.

To start, T has done so much, so well over the last seven months. From when his Transitions Life System program started in September, he's lost almost 90lbs. He looks fantastic and feels even better. Thank goodness for consignment shops--we have an entire wardrobe's worth of clothes to give them, and he's found some great pieces that actually fit right since his old clothes practically fall off. From that he's gained health and a self-confidence that I always knew hid somewhere inside him, waiting for the right catalyst to come forward. I find it so gratifying when T looks at himself with this expression of pleased awe; as he told me recently, he still doesn't recognize his own reflection. But he will because this is who he is. He's even signed us up for a 5K in June, something neither of us has done on foot (as opposed to a rowing machine, which is where we did most of them) in a loooooong time. I see a new light in his eyes, and I'm just so proud I could burst.

Now onto Mr. J. Sure, parents sing their kids' praises, but I truly do think J has earned them even with my significant bias. In February he had a major speech therapist diagnosis where it came out that his expressive (spoken) speech indicated a "moderate" delay (he was behind by about five months), but his receptive (understood) speech was actually ahead for his age, which told us that he understood plenty but just didn't say much. Had it been the other way around, we would have had cause for worry. He works with a speech therapist at day care twice a week, and he's made significant progress--even the therapist said so, so it's not just Mommy projecting her hopes. He's reached that stage where if one us points to something and ask him to repeat it, most of the time he'll try...and most of the time he'll come out with something recognizable as what we said. I never thought the word "waffle" could give me such excitement.

Yesterday also gave me a big reminder of how far J has come: Another boy in his class, P, on his second day there, had the sudden realization that yes, he was going to be in this new place ALL DAY and Mommy and Daddy weren't coming for him. First day was fun; second day was the reality check, poor guy. When I came in, I saw the little guy sobbing in the teacher's arms, wailing for "mama," and it reminded me of J's extremely rough transition to day care. We had two weeks where he'd cry for almost half the day and freak out when other kids touched him. Now when I drop him off, he barely has time to say "bye-bye" because he's busy with his toys or the books or his buddies. I wanted to call the parents up and assure them that their little P would make the adjustment. While of course I have that part of me that feels bad that I can't be with him, he truly has flourished from spending so much time with other kids and his teachers. Again, my heart fills with pride.

So I think I've successfully acted as cheerleader for my boys.  I've supported them and done what I could from my end, but ultimately they've done all the work.

Baby Steps

Last week, J began speech therapy. I've mentioned things a bit before, but the long and short is that he's almost 17 months old and really doesn't say any real words. He sort of says "mama" and "dada", and he makes repetitive noises ("babababababa", etc.). He understands quite a bit, but those actual words have yet to really form. So we had him evaluated, and the conclusion came out that he has some delays and would benefit from some extra help. Last week he met with his two therapists (one every other week so he has someone working with him once a week), and he responded to them very well, even hugging the one at the end of the session. He just knows people come to play with him; he doesn't realize he's getting help with his speaking. My mom also sat in on the one session: He has to meet his ladies at day care, so we don't get to see what they do, unfortunately (we trade notebook entries back and forth), so it was terrific for mom to observe and take copious notes. We have a little "homework" to work on with him, mainly repetition of just a few words and signing.

Well, two days ago at dinner, I repeated the word "more" numerous times and did the sign for it before I would give him more mac & cheese (always helps to use a much-desired food!). I showed him what to do and put his own little hands together to make the "more" sign. Lo and behold, he did it himself and after a brief explosion of delight on my end, I passed out the desired mac. He seemed to begin to comprehend the connection, but I figured it would come slowly. Next morning, before he even came downstairs, he began signing "more" to T for his morning Cheerios! The kid has picked up the sign with a vengeance.

This makes me so incredibly happy--he's realizing he can communicate with us to get what he wants. The words will come (we still say "more" about a zillion times when we sign and talk to him) next and when he's ready, with a little help. J may not take the "usual" trajectory of talking that other kids do, but he's making progress a day at a time, going at his own pace, and, again during this holiday season, I am so utterly thankful.

Oh, and he knows where his tummy is: Just ask, and he'll yank up his shirt and slap his round little toddler gut. It's the best.

Karma

I meant to write about this before, but the week went by in a complete blur. Anyway, last Sunday I headed to the coffee place the next little town over to get some grading done. I go there fairly often because it has the right white noise atmosphere that helps me get work done, a combination of big band/jazz music and human conversation. Plus they have delicious pastries. I did some grading, left, and as I walked through the parking lot, I found $12 in the snow. I looked around and didn't see anyone, thought about it for a minute, and made a decision: Walking back into the coffee shop, I put $2 in the tip jar and handed the $10 to the barista behind the counter, asking him to pay for the next person's coffee. I could've kept it for myself, but I figured since the thought crossed my mind to give it to someone else, I should. I have no idea if coffee boy simply pocketed it or did a good deed; I at least made an attempt to pay it forward.

Upon getting ready for work the next day, I realized I couldn't find one of my homework folders, filled with assignments my one class period had turned in. When I got home, I planned to ransack the house to find it even though I'd already looked once. As I got ready to go home at the end of the day, I received a call from the front office saying someone from the coffee house had found a folder of mine and they had it waiting for me. It turns out I'd left it there (pregnancy brain or just me? probably a combination of both...) and an out-of-work music teacher who works there as a barista had spotted it in the lost and found. Fortunately, she realized it belonged to a teacher and actually called two schools before calling mine to see if a Mrs. Frau who taught ninth grade worked there. I discovered this when I went back to get it and fell all over myself thanking this young woman that she'd taken such time and effort to make sure I got my materials back. She truly saved me a lot of agony in that simple yet significant act.

Would I have gotten the folder back had I not given up that $12? I don't know. I hope so, but I prefer to look at it as one good act begetting another. The entire cycle of events gave me a nice boost of faith in the importance of doing good for others, no matter how small.

Oh, boy....

Item 1: Good thing I didn't take a picture of our new bedroom light because T has whacked his head on it several times, so it's moving to my office and we'll get one that's more flush to the ceiling.

Item 2: MY SISTER M HAD HER BABY YESTERDAY!!!!! Hah! I totally fooled you about the mundane nature of this post! Baby girl C is absolutely beautiful and already lifts her wee head up and looks strikingly like my sister. I will post pictures ASAP. I have a ton. On another note, I sincerely hope my labor goes as well and quickly as M's did. Everyone looked elated and a bit tired, as one would expect.

Item 3: We're having a boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We meant to wait until we got to dinner to open some silly envelope, but please. We had to know then and there. Fortunately his little bait and tackle were right there to see. Now I just have to compromise with T, who wants to paint the baby's room in Buffalo Sabres colors. :-)

Never did a Monday hold so much utter and complete happiness.

Pictures to follow!