Realizations

Well, it's a bit more of the same, although summer's coming to a close and I don't have a job yet, and frankly, that's scary.  I do have an interview, so I'm hopeful, but I don't even want to write any more about it...superstitious, you know.  I have a tendency to find things to worry about...I don't know if this is just part of my personality or inherited (my mom does spring to mind) or what, but for some reason I sometimes will think of ways that something won't work instead of looking on the bright side.  But as T pointed out, the only way we can think is positively because anything else becomes self-defeating.  We have a beautiful, healthy baby boy, and I give thanks for that miracle every day.  So as long as I remember the great things I do have and think in terms of when I'll get a job, we'll do just fine.  I think in this economy I have to play Pollyanna a bit, plus work hard to make my own luck.  That's the fine but important difference between expecting something good to happen and making something good happen.  I realized that if I think of my life right now in terms of doing for us and not for me, it gives me more impetus to get things done.

I apologize if this seems rambly; these thoughts have swirled around in my head for quite some time now, and I've just gotten the opportunity to give voice to them.  Bottom line, if I live my life fearing what bad things might happen, not as much good will happen, either.

Baby J has begun smiling more.  He rolls to the side and his little face lights up when I get him out of bed in the morning.  We've begun going for more morning walks with him in the Ergo; he tends to fall asleep and drool all over me.  I love it.