Perceptions of Self

I'm beginning to realize, once again, how important my image is as a teacher. We began crew practices last week and I met a bunch of the students, many of whom I will be teaching in a few short weeks. The thing is, I never would've seen my old Buffalo Public School students in any place I truly cared about. Maybe in my car as I drove by a bus stop, but that's it. I switch to a little private girls school and what happens? Not one day after the first crew practice I go to a concert (great free concerts in the summer here) and when I happen to have two beers in my hands, three of them walk by. Sigh. Not that I can't drink, but it looks...not so hot. I am excited to get with students who actually care, however. Plus--listen to this--the chick from downtown who's head of English told me that I got bumped for a contracted teacher, so I wouldn't have been going back to my old school anyway! I guess things happen the way they do for a reason.

Different note, same idea of image: I have to confess I bought the Winsor Pilates DVD. You know the infomercial, the one where the celebrities talk about how they lost inches off their waists and can now fit into clothing they wore in middle school?

I called within the “next twelve minutes”, so I got the whole thing for $10 (plus S&H, of course). With a wedding coming up and a dress to fit into, I figure if 20 minutes of concentrated pilates a day can help, why not give it a shot? Plus with all this biking I’m doing, I know I’m getting extra exercise. I have grand plans of riding the bike to work in the morning until it gets too cold or too sloppy out; hopefully I can stay true to this. I’m inspired by my youngest sister, C., who walked almost an hour to work and ran home to train for a half-marathon. But that girl is dedicated; I often try to take a leaf out of her book when it comes to focusing on getting work done. There’s a reason why she went through Yale with a terrific GPA.

So those are my image thoughts, although when it comes down to it, the most important image is the one I have of myself as a healthy person who does the best she can for herself and those around her.

Blast from the Recent Past

Today I had a rather bizarre experience: My ex is in the army and is trying to join the Department of Defense, and they needed to talk to me as part of a background check! Obviously I can't divulge the details but they asked all sorts of questions, from what activities he liked to do right down to asking me to describe his character. As I remember, he'd wanted to join for quite some time, so good for him. Honestly, I think he'll do a fine job. It was rather strange to recount my entire relationship with some federal agent guy I'd never laid eyes on before, but hey, I'll do my part for our country.

Five Senses Friday:

Sight: Three squirrels playing around a pine tree trunk about six feet up.
Sound: Those same squirrels running repeatedly around said tree while chasing each other.
Smell: Fresh basil in our backyard little garden.
Taste: The zucchini bisque I made for lunch.
Touch: The feel of my pretty party dress! Girly, I know-I didn't even wear it; I just tried it on for fun.

A Different View

I briefly posted my car woes and then my sister advised me to take it down...Who knows if a student will read this one day and then I look like I'm irresponsible? So, yes, I am without car right now and I have to say that I do like riding my bike. It's a whole different world and it really makes you aware of your surroundings. I never realized how many people in Buffalo do ride...although there is a worldwide movement called Critical Mass who only ride bikes as a way of saving the environment, etc., who have a Buffalo contingent. I'll also say that Europe is MUCH more bicycle-friendly. When I lived in Germany, the bike path was right next to the sidewalk and went throughout the cities. There were so many bikes that all you had to do was lock your wheel to the frame; nobody was going to steal it otherwise. Anyway, I have enjoyed the wind in my face, the extra exercise, and the chance to look around my neighborhood. I may continue to ride to work in the fall, until the weather gets bad. I'm just trying to figure out how to transport "work clothes" so they're not wrinkled and/or wet. Ideas?

So this weekend DF and I went to a wedding in southern Erie county. His future best man, Dean, got married on the family property out in the woods. The bride wore a simple white sundress, adorned with his family's (Scottish) tartan and arrived by hand-made canoe at the dock of the large pond near the house. They married on the dock with the sun overhead, we all blew bubbles as the bagpiper led us back to the house, and we all danced and drank the night away. It was so relaxed: Everyone changed into comfy clothes after a while, there was a bonfire with s'mores, we saw the meteor shower, dogs and children ran through our legs, and a number of us stayed the night in tents pitched around the property. Just such a pleasant weekend. I'm still exhausted, but it just reminds me that, while my wedding will be more formal, I still want that fun, relaxed atmosphere. Next weekend we have another wedding, so I'll have to see how it compares. Oh, and the DJ was great, but DF and I have sworn there will be no Celine Dion or Shania Twain at our wedding. SJ, does that remind you of sophomore year, when we banned Celine and Oasis, I believe, from our room? ;-)

Now it's back to reality: Lesson planning, cleaning our messy little apartment, and grocery shopping. Somehow this weekend we began talking about how great it would be to have a personal sherpa to carry all of our stuff. Do they have those, personal sherpas? My sherpa would carry all my school stuff to and fro. I always seem to have lots of stuff to carry. And where, where is the maid to do all the cleaning? Oh yes, she's typing this.

Happy Monday!

Wedding Musings

I went to a wedding last night, my friend's sister, E. E looked absolutely beautiful, and the weather couldn't have been better, considering how gross and humid it's been. Outdoor setting overlooking farm country, gorgeous tent with terrific band, everything was great. I think my mom lent some levity to the family because she began crying as the MOB, a close friend of hers, began walking toward us, and was in full waterworks as E and her father came along. He even stopped to laughingly offer her a handkerchief. I think Mom did her own little part in keeping the bride from tearing up herself, so way to go, Mom. One neat thing the reverend did was to have the bride and groom turn to face the guests, having them really look at everyone to see who came and talked about how all these people loved them and wanted to share in their special day. I thought that was pretty cool. And yes, now I want a bagpiper at my wedding. I doubt I'll actually have one, but it was cool.

The one damper was that DF couldn't be there. I realize that if you're attending a party where you don't have single friends to keep you company, going to a wedding-type event can be significantly different if your significant other isn't there. It's almost a rite of passage for me: Mostly gone are the parties where the group of girls and guys went together and everyone danced with everyone. Oh, sure, if you've got a close bunch there you still have a lot of fun, but the slow songs become the time when you hit the bathroom or grab a drink. This was definitely the case last night: My other single friend and I hung out and I danced a few dances with groups, but I didn't have a group of buddies to run around with. Plus DF is a fabulous dancer and he would've been spinning me all over that dance floor. And I had such a nice, twirly skirt on! Rats. So I guess this is a sort of roundabout tribute to T: It just wasn't the same without him. I had fun, but not as much. However, we have wedding to attend on the next two weekends, so I think he'll make up for it.

Next question: Salsa band, DJ, or regular band who also play songs everyone knows? And what the hell do I give for favors?

Fun with Friends and Family

I just had the nicest weekend! My sister M. and her very nice boyfriend C. were in town and we spent the weekend at my parents' place in Eden (it's really called that), which is about 30 minutes away from me, yet it seems like an entirely different planet. They're in the country, complete with a pond and a swimming hole down the road. Basically we ate amazing food, cooked primarily by Mom's husband R. and boyfriend C. (although Mom and I made killer pizzas for lunch, I must say), and drank refreshing cocktails made primarily by my DF. He does a mean Bloody Mary--and I didn't even used to like Bloody Marys. Yum.

I think what made it so great was the completely relaxed atmosphere of the whole weekend. If you wanted to read, you read. If you wanted to play golf, you played golf. DF and I hit the watering hole (pictured above), which was made a lot more exciting due to heavy rains making the waterfalls so strong you could duck under them and sit watching this cascade directly in front of you. I don't think we turned on the stupid TV once. Instead we played games and just enjoyed each others' company. What could be better? Now all that needs to happen is for my sisters to finally move back home so we can do weekends like that more often!

I realize that the most fun I have with others is always when we entertain each other in some way. I'd rather have a game night with some music than do a movie or a loud bar any time. On that note, my friends and I are thinking we need to start having theme parties. We've collectively been to these themes: Gatsby, Ugly Shirt (prize for the "best"), Bring Your Own Wine (also prize for the best), and my sister M. and her boyfriend C. are thinking of doing a 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall party where they actually put 99 bottles of beer on the wall...and take one down and pass it around...until all are gone. Yikes. Any suggestions for others?
Above is the view from the top of our hike! Below is Mom's dog, Amos.

Natterings

So I know, I've been busy. My old public school didn't make me do a whole lot; at the private school, they really expect you to perform and teach. Thus I've been reading many books, trying to figure out lesson plans, and finding sites that kids might plagiarize papers from so I can catch them at it. It bothers me that there's a growing attitude of, "Oh, well, everybody does it and it's so hard to catch them that we'll just let it go...." Fortunately that is NOT the case where I'm going to be working. I've never understood when or why we all became such defeatists and pushovers when it came to doing what you weren't supposed to. This goes for running red lights as well.

But this weekend my sister M and her nice BF are coming for the weekend so I expect a lot of fun and wedding talk--not that wedding talk can't be fun, but I assume we'll do other things as well. My parents have a great place out in the country complete with a pond, a gorgeous view, and lots of little places to explore. It's a terrific getaway and they're thinking about building a pool to entice future visits from future grandkids (none in the making yet).

So if any of you have any strong opinions or thoughts about the books Fahrenheit 451 or Catcher in the Rye, please let me know. I'm always open to ideas!

Oh yes, Five Senses Friday (thanks again, Ouiser)

Taste- the 5 cent lemonade I bought from little kids down the street
Sight- My own classroom, ready to be organized for the year
Sound- The pounding rain very early this morning
Smell- That slightly chemical "new clothes" smell of my new work skirt
Touch- The feel of a comfortable pair of heels--also for work (Payless! $20!)

Power Struggle

I have to thank Ouiser for this, because I think it was James Bond's Die Another Day in which I heard the quote "There is no such thing as good or evil; there is only power and how you wield it." And I wondered, is that true? Is being good just having the power to say no to bad things and do what's best for yourself and others? And then I wondered, does absolute power corrupt, absolutely? I mean, limitless power usually leads to evil doings, as history has shown us time and again.

I guess I don't think that power denotes whether we're good or evil, but it certainly does influence it. Haven't powerless people done good things? Even if it's something small, it can still be good. And there's always talk in movies and books of how one uses power; to quote another movie, "With great power comes great responsibility." I doubt that that originally came from Spiderman, but hey, it still works. If you want to look at it in the superhero genre, that's the gist of any comic book: two groups or beings have power and have to decide what to do with it. Do they save the world or try to destroy and manipulate it for their own gains? Do you use the Force or turn to the Dark Side? (I had to throw that in.)

With real people, it's a lot more tenuous. I suppose it has to do with who gets power in the first place. It goes right back to seventh grade and the popular kids wielding the power to make everyone's life around them great or hellish and continues for the rest of our lives. I'm not saying that my classmates were evil, but some of the things they did were. I know a lot of those kids haven't changed since then; it seems to me that those who were considered good but weak ended up gaining the most in the end...if they managed to realize that those seventh grade creeps had no power over them or who they were as people.

I didn't mean for this to get so cyclical but that's the nature of the question, I suppose. What do you think? Is it a question of power? Or just good and evil? Or a combination of both?