Cereal Commercials: The Dark Underbelly

OK, I've talked about designer perfume. Now, I have to ask: From a media standpoint, why do so many children's cereal commercials have the premise of one character/set of characters keeping the cereal from another or attempting to take it by force? I suppose because it's so tasty one want to keep it all for oneself, but isn't that simply teaching gluttony? Perhaps I've truly hit on something; perhaps this is one of the catalysts for childhood obesity. Probably not.

Seriously, Fruity Pebbles? Why is Fred Flintstone such a creep that he can't share his Pebbles with Barney? Is there some finite amount? And why does Fred have sole access? For crying out loud, they used to share Winston cigarettes together. What happened to the neighborly love? Fred's obsession with these Pebbles and his rage frighten me.

Ah, and then there's Trix cereal. He's the TRIX rabbit. Why call him the Trix rabbit and then tell him, "Trix are for kids"? That's just cruel. Can't we teach our children to share? Doesn't that count as a vital lesson? Why, then, O advertising creative team, why have these children chuckle and tease this poor bunny? I call shenanigans on this one. Does anyone remember in the 80s when they had a write-in contest to see if the Trix rabbit should actually get his beloved Trix and the majority said he should? Well, it's been 20 years and I think it's high time we gave him another chance or perhaps offered him an alternative. It sure doesn't seem as though they're doing this for his health.


Lucky the Leprechaun defines irony for me. He's had no luck keeping his own damn Lucky Charms. Once again, jerk kids keep trying to steal his Lucky Charms, coming up with all sorts of nefarious plans to take them. How about asking, children? Lucky doesn't seem to be the same sort of cereal hog as Fred. I bet if you were nice, he would share. Doesn't this give kids the wrong idea: Take what you want and do anything to get it?

Super Golden Crisp: The way I remember it, Sugar Bear used to beat up those who tried to take his cereal. Now, mind you, if someone tried to steal my food, I might get a little edgy, too. He is a bear, after all, and there's the whole survival/resource guarding instinct. But hey, "It's got the crunch with punch"? So it makes you so strong you can defend yourself against sugar-stealing attackers? And why did Sugar Bear sound like Bing Crosby? (Was that a subtle dig at the crooner's alleged behavior toward his children?)

I'm sure there are others out there, other sugary cereal ads waiting to corrupt the minds of our youth. TAKE HEED, PEOPLE. Do it for the children. Won't somebody please think of the children?!?!

P.S. Do not get me started on my dissertation of Sonny the Cocoa Puffs Bird as the prime example of addiction and the dangers of a sugar high.