Yesterday I had an interview for an English position at a local school, full time. I prepared for it, went, answered the questions as well as I could, was my bright and charming self, created a writing sample, and...didn't get called for the second round of interviews that afternoon. Honestly, the waiting felt worse than finding out I lost out.
That told me something, something that's swirled around in my mind for a while (what I wouldn't give for a Pensieve some days): Maybe I should take a break from teaching. Maybe the universe or some Higher Power has given me the signal that I can use my other skills and interests to do something. I love teaching, love it dearly, but the paperwork--grading essays, homework, you name it--tripped me up even before I had J. I can do it...I can get things done, but it's not my strong point when I don't have a deadline imposed on me by someone else. I don't do self-imposed deadlines well at all because somewhere in my head, I believe it's not a big deal if I don't meet it. Somehow I don't get that not meeting that deadline means less sleep, less time with T, more stress. I know it but I don't.
I certainly don't think going into a job other than teaching will be...easier. I just think it might be better suited for me. Right after I found out I didn't get the callback from this place, I immediately called this person my dad knows who can help me find something. We've got a lunch coming up, we discussed the idea of international student programs (Trick Panda, may need some help on this from your end on this--I'd love to know more about St. Margaret's program if this comes to fruition), using my languages, editing and writing, and I began to get excited. It felt good to think about using my other talents as well.
This probably sounds repetitive, but I know now that getting cut from my last job has become one of the most serendipitous events in my life. I would never, ever have had all this time to spend with my son otherwise. And I wouldn't have the chance to expand my horizons on the job front, either. Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I find myself still, every day, deeply thankful and grateful for my life and the course it's taking. What a surprise.